Hotter Inner Riot

Last night’s cumulonimbus mood followed me to this sitting.  Have to focus on Jack, his little jogs around the house, all his new words, his smiles, random laughs.  He, solitarily, can grab me from this.  Already with coffee [6:20am].  Have to have a firm goal for today.  Something I can reach, touch.  Something I can print?  Not sure, as I already have 113 pages, give or take, that I need to proof.  And yes, I’m sticking to a full book.  No chapbooks.  I’ll rush read this ms, giving all readers a sense of my obsession, the way I think, my Creative habits; many typos being left for effect.  Some who have tried to “follow” my “blog” have told me it’s hard, from all the pages I produce.  Good, that’s just how I want to be seen– the OBSESSIVE writer, who never stops with what he truly loves.  And readers should be the same way with whatever gives them joy.. be obsessed, it’s okay.  Moderation, spaced efforts with your passion, if you want it to be your living or “job,” is not okay as I see it.  And I want to be an example of healthy, dedicated obsession for my readers.. the benefit to this instant toxicity in me.

This home coffee, better than that corporate hot rushed nonsense down the street, for which I pay $4.80, sometimes more if I get 4 shots.  And that’s money I could have put towards a house, into my business, somehow used to get me to my office, on the Road.

Thought I had something collaborative in line, but I’m deciding against it.  I want to be on own, as all Creative Writers should be.  Don’t want to be part of any “writers group,” and I certainly don’t want to align mySelf with any bloggers, especially ones who have no manuscript might, who can never expressively, sharply, enjoyably write.  So, proudly on own.

Onto second cup.  Still haven’t decided what I want today’s aim to be.  How about something simple.. a 1,000 word standalone.  I’ll write it in the OFFblog log.  And print it, perhaps adding it to book1, which I’m pushing closer to 130+ pages.


On 3rd page, of the three I’m trying to write for day.  No caffeine, in last 20 minutes.  Into the sparkling water, lime, or lemon.  Can’t remember.  Don’t want this entry to be identical, or even similar, really, to what I wrote in OFFblog.  So what do I focus on.. Jack, how my little Artist’s exhausting me.  Can barely keep up.  And it’s just me, here, watching my little friend, on day off.  Not complaining, just citing facts that I didn’t in OFFblog.  Shooting for truth.  And now you know where I am, what I’m doing, precisely.

So sick of “social” media, all promoting it, thinking it does so much, that others have to do as well.  There’s such pressure to have accounts, “post” consistently to help your “brand.” So, people are brands now.  That’s to what this new mess reduces us.  For me, it’s useless.  Posting on Facecrook, or Twitster, won’t get me closer to finishing a book, selling it.  It’s maddening.