albatross cost

8:42am.  [10/17] Leaving.  Long day.  Just graded two papers.  Convinced Self I deserve a mocha.  So off I go.

8:28am.  [10/18]  Just aiming to get 100 words into this sitting.  Semi-sitting.  Last night’s session, class that is, one of my best.  Was observed, think it went well.  A coworker’s picking up the Madigan Morning mocha.  We’ll be taking turns to aid & abet each other’s addiction.  And, to save money.  Wrote a 16-line verse last night.  Then stopped.  Wanted the feeling of actually completing something.  Now, I advance towards scale truly grand.

Think I’m on the mountain today.  Wonderful, as I could use a view.  Yesterday’s pace, somewhat sluggish, then random packs.  Never predictable, the Room’s traffic.  Thinking of my office.. where I want it, what I want in it.  And most crucially, how I get there.  One step, today.. upload every photo I take, so it doesn’t just sit in phone’s canyons.  Hope they haven’t picked that Century Vine Zin yet.. could use a still or three of those clusters.  And harvest, ending without giving me a chance to gather the amount of material I’d prefer.  What can I do, I realize.  It’s Mother Nature’s dance.. she always leads.  Mom’s downstairs, playing with little Kerouac.  Time once more, just before I pass my own door, reminding me that it’s behind me.  Ahead.  And atop.  What the devil, I say2Self.  Just need the mocha…

6:49pm.  Found out…  I’ll be making a Merlot at Kunde.  So excited I have to calm Self down.  A Merlot.  Not on the whoso menu, but I don’t care.  It’s on there now.  And that’s what I love about an oeno’d life– you go with its current current.  Weather today, a little warm but not what I’d call “hot.”  Did 2 tours on mountain, then remained in Room.  Wrote a little in little notebook, kept thinking about a book.  My book.  Her book.  I have to Self publish, but it may be delayed with this Merlot opportunity.  I’ll have to spend money on something, that’s just a reality.  Corks, glass, labels, barrel.  I’ll only be doing 1 bbl, yes, but that’s nearly 25 css.  Nearly 300 bttls.  300 labels.  300 corks.  The winemaking lifer–no, wineMAKER life–starts now.  Well, actually tomorrow with the picking.  Need to start thinking about that bond, if I’m going to do this for a living, blend it profitably with the writing.  Ideas budding.  Need a break.  No, need a beer.  What’s for dinner, this Thursday night?  What would Kelly do, that’s what I should really ask?  She’d probably tell me not to ask, just do whatever I feel’s right.  I know, save it for the novel.


Kelly– an idea, a reality.. ideal reality.. ideality, I thought on the ride back, just now.  This Merlot I’m set to make, making it in her image.  NO, with her in mind.  As if to mimic and/or personify her paginate presence.  Just came back from picking up Whole Foods burritos.  Decided to splurge, get a $30.99 bottle of ’07 Swanson Merlot.  Technically, this is a revisit, as I was invited to taste there in, I think, June ’11, just after we found out Jack [we called him “Baby M” at the time, gender unaware] was on his way.  For mikeslognoblog I visited, later posting, not getting an ounce of thanks, but either way…  Just going to study its profile– see what works, doesn’t work, as I suggest to students when engaged in peer reviews.  From what I remember, this Merlot, with an Oakville appellation, is one of the more impressive Merlots, or wines for any matter, at such a monetary requisite.  Can’t wait to see my fruit on vine, tomorrow, watch it land on crushpad [is that 1 word?].  Didn’t see that last year, with MKCS.. on vine, then only minutes later, or maybe a little over an hour later, at production site.  I’m following in my Literary visions, through vineyard fruit.  So now, the whoso menu has a Merlot.  Need to study this bottle closely, see where the Kelly notes are, those insinuating curiosity, artfulness, confidence, amiability.

Do I want a tasting Room, when I’m bonded?  I have to say yes.  But I want it small.  Starting to save for the bond today.  Going to keep a running inventory of dollar holdings.  My plan, get Katie to go in on such.  But I don’t wan’t to depend in that– on her, or anyone, not just Katie.  Like Mom said about a month ago, “You’re going to want to get bonded, and sell eventually.” She’s right.  I can’t afford to just do something “for fun.” I have a son.  All business.  Yes, I want to have fun in my businesses.  Writing/Self-publishing, winemaking.. but it’s business, meant to generate survival means.  Looking left, at breathing bottle.  Wonder what’s inside, in character’s way.  Are there Kelly notes inside?  Can’t wait2study.

Merlot.  What is it “supposed” to do?  Can’t believe I even asked that.  What do I want mine to do?  Definitely want blueberry, chocolate, vanilla voices in its stream.  Tannins?  Nothing obnoxious, too loud.  Kelly’s subtle, as is Merlot most of the time.  Has to be withheld, but not too muted.

10:06pm.  Been open for well over an hour.  Dexterity, personality.. but not the fruit flash that I’d like.  No, I’m not hoping it be like some Zin from the foothills.  I’m just not getting any berry.  Not blue, not rasp’.  Not much.  Maybe it’s my sensitivity to ’07, that it’s the Big Brother vintage; my observation that everyone likes it from being told to like it, or reading that they need to “be on the lookout” for any wine from 2007.  Notes from this bottle I do like: smokey chocolate on nose; subtle dark berry [very subtle, nearly muffled, pushed aside], sweet cigar skip on mouth leading to concise but somehow catapulting finish.  I get almost a Syrah-like maple-y bacon brush with this bottle, but that’s not what I want from my Merlot.  And I can’t truly know what I CAN wish for till I taste the berries.  Need to arrive a little early to work tomorrow morning.  But, for now, need another glass.

Was tempted to write about her.  But not going to.  My glass, quite full.  After this sitting, need pages, actual pages– rime, line, poetic’s aesthetic.  Why did I use that word?  Hate how that sounds, everyone uses that word now.  “Aesthetic,” or “aesthetically.” Gross.  The Merlot now’s starting to muster couple currant codes.  But they’re too codified, too hard to hear.  I’ll just sip, see what sequences.

Trying to touch 1000 words before Comp Book.  Want to “earn” my freedom on those notebook pages.  Need an envelope for those upstairs currency notes.  They’re just in that skinny file box of old writings.  I call it the “junior tomb,” just below size of the larger plastic container that’s haunted me since graduate school.  Yeah, there are a couple black olive chord on palate.. not sure I want Kelly’s cuvée to show such strain.  Just did one of the ridiculous obligatory word counts on this monstrous devil of a device.  I AM over 1k for day.  But I still want to type.  What should I do?  Another sip…

With this winemaking role, coming from an Artistic/Literary strain, I only see ascent, stylistic accents.  Maybe that’s overconfidence.  But I’d rather be over than under.  I’m not making sense, I’m sure.  Thanks a lot, Swanson.  Why are these pictures taking so long to upload?  And, honestly.. why am I still typing?  Still “blogging?” Mood, shifted.  Not good.  Clocking out, with pages at right, in black bag.  Pretending I’m in my fantasy: the hotel Room, on tour, just writing with a full glass of red with me at desk.  No party plans.  Only composition intent.  The Road, closer.  My office, around corner.  Equilibrium, near attainment.