Heading to lunch with Mark in about 5 minutes.  Windsor Golf Course.  Never been.  This morning I was struck and battered pleasurably by ideas for EVERYTHING – blog and books and the #professormikey brand.  A de-emphasis of wine and an escalation in the fitness/health/running staples.  More on this later.

11:39, should leave.  Want to be there early.  Fucking allergies already, and it’s not even April.  Study it, I tell myself.

Bringing main journal, for anything Mark says or that wraps itself around mind.

—>

15:22

Call didn’t pan out as I thought it would.  Now my mood sinks.  A defeat, and I recognize it.  Driving out to VV in a bit, but I need some time.  Collect, talk to self….  FUCK.

Moving on, I can’t fixate or hold myself in any one place, depend on any one prospect.  So why am I?

Snap out of it…. This period is nearly a month old.  I have to do something different.  Like Mark said today, ATTITUDE… reaction, how I react.

Maybe I should COMPLETELY reinvent.  Yes, why am I saying fucking maybe?  Not happy with myself or that goddamn MSP.  But why, I took the job.