That is where work is to be done. Kick ass the Nurse told me, regarding today. Trying, just getting started. Running later, hell or high water. Never got that expression, but there I put it to use.
Month closing and I’m in a bit of a panic, I’ll be honest. Don’t panic. Be calm, Composition and character… Like JO said, I am in control, I have the ‘power’ here. The past few days with the Nurse, flying past me. Nothing I can do about it, certainly can’t stop it or freeze it as I wish were able with her. Just accept it, like the Nurse said.
08:57… time for Opening meeting with Self, as I’d do with the MSP team members. Today…. FSA follow-up, call one of the kids’ counselors, something else I don’t want to do and then try to prospect new leads. One lead, considering dead. Time to put myself out there in more ways, differently.
Idea hits me. Get coffee in kitchen then back down. Make something happen, TO.DAY.
Teaching myself to calm down, there are things out of my control in this search which is nearly everything. So, take a breath…
Finish espresso, have something written in BED journal within the next hour, even if just a sentence. Seeing this as more of an adventure, write my way through and out of it. That is the only way.
Sent two messages, looking for other. Thinking outside and far away from any boxes. Scolding myself for taking that MSP office on, but what will that do. Why. Move on. Here you are, and think of the opportunity this presents. Starting over, but not. I may never get a chance like this again, now that I think about it. Teach yourself…
Write through and out of it. Nurse messages me, and I’m on fire. Determined to kill this attitude and this search.
Learning from this, and teach self. A self-instructing circle and architecture. Belief in it, FAITH. In me, nothing wrong with that. I am going to make mammoth progress today, as I did yesterday. Today, I will all but kill this search.
Thought of making myself a business card, but no. No need. Remember things the Nurse and I said to each other last night before bed, out future, travel, smiling and joking, kissing then sleep. Can’t believe this is happening to me, and the kids, with her. Like it’s someone else’s life, but definitively not. This is my circumstance, set of…. So grateful. So much peace in my Now.
I hope some people are reading, and are furious and miserable with the heigh of my love and happiness and peace, my Mental Health. I truly do. Why, so maybe they can allow themselves the same and move on.
This cup, from the MSP when I started… YES. MY adventure is only now, NOW, starting. Wheels up, and flight.