08:29 with Nurse at her CPA appt, typing in lobby. Can’t get onto wifi, CPA won’t let me the lady said. “Privacy issues,” she said simply.
Sipping latte and doing what I can in the search. Not rushing into anything, and not letting self panic. Although it’s hard I’ll admit.
…
Broaden search, across other verticals. Forgetting about some of the past leads.
Lady offers me a wheel-in table for me to work on. I tell her I’m fine, typing as I am.
Couple of budget moves, small. I’m getting everything settled today. The work search, where I land, and I will land today. Somewhere. Find some assignment. This is getting ridiculous and I am getting fed the fuck up. This shit, at my age. That goddamn MSP.
Can’t blame them. Maybe partially, but not entirely. The Blog Design Tech idea, building that. Not sure when I’ll be back in Sonoma County. Another appointment on this side of the mountain, at 11:00…. Feeling my frustration build, and my anxiety with this situation.
Have to keep Composition. Stop typing, get on LinkedIN, post something, message someone.
Following up on a couple leads, designing a course, making material out of this work search situation. Notice I don’t write “job search”. Refuse to. I want to work, but I am DONE with jobs, the obligatory garbage….
(NOTE TO SELF)
New week, new story and Beat.
New sights and inner lights.
Rewrite, never late for a revisit to the drawing board.
This week is going to bring new understanding and Roads…
Be a fan of yourself, cheer on your role and story.
…..
Been back at the villa for a bit now. Working at the Nurse’s desk, being taught by the morning and the Nurse, her generosity and encouragement, letting me work here, he hugs and kisses before her drive to an appointment. Learning gratitude, and teaching it to ME.
ME – professor and student. More a student. Refuse to stop learning about me, and my character, thinking momentums. Where I focus, when I self-doubt and why I do that so often, sometimes.
New beginning for this writer and teacher. TEACHER…. Need to keep telling myself that. Start with self. Teach self to teach and write, plan, read and react again. This will be the last time in my life, MY story, I have to do this.
Could use coffee… will make a cup, my last for the day. Still feel the 4-shot latte a bit. Stay where you are I say to myself, or don’t. Just decide. Okay then, coffee. Sorry you have to read this circling, reader. But this is me where I am, NOW. In this situation and work search.