8:47 day has to start but I’m still not ready.  Meetings later at HQ starting at 2. 

Getting mind off everything, thinking something, something I said in response to a question, what I have going today.  Didn’t have an answer.  That bothers me, tremendously now but only a little right after I said it last night.

Somewhat nervous or maybe even scared to send the letter.  But I have to.  I can’t continue as I have been, not excited about the day, self-doubting, anxious… I just can’t.  Starting to wake up and love to these thoughts and this condo for doing so.  9:01, coffee.  Take a deep breath like Mom said yesterday when things were crazy with the kids and after Jack clipped Emma with his bat.

Relax… talking to self this morning.  What I want, how I’ll get there, the bullseye even though I think that’s a bit trite to say.  Enjoy my coffee, not caring about anything but the coffee, my kids, this room…. Starting a writing routine, new one.  Bookending with smiles and happiness and thinking of what makes me happy, Emma hopping into my arms last night before leaving Mom and Dad’s…