8/26/19

Day WHATEVER.

Just facetious, it’s 24.  In an antagonist’s angle, this morning.  Feeling more in control of this AAE position than I have since accepting it.  For one, don’t do your job so much, I’m telling myself.  Make connections, and not the corny urgency of “It’s who you know”.  No.  I’m talking about connecting everything you do.  Everything you have in your story.  Everything that you already are and everything you’ve studied, and have some prowess in…. use that in your new position.  Make more self-notes.  Lose nothing, log everything.  Even how I’m starting the day, sharing my three aims of writing tomorrow’s lecture, having only ONE coffee after this latte if any at all, and running at lunch.  76 more days to go till autopilot is initiated and set.  Yesterday at winery working as quick and feverishly as I was, like I was full-time again in the industry and thank the Craft I’m not, but I felt in that character again, and it was telling me something about this, what I’m doing here, at this desk and in the Sonic office.

Have a meeting at 10.  More than ready for it.  Will showcase, or maybe just show, how I “sell”, and how I present.  Excited about it for reasons that are all over this blog, but learning about the character, their business, what they want.  Not so much that 80/20 rule or idea of listening when prospecting, but showing a genuine interest in what they want.  Connectedness, community, creativity.  Yesterday while in the tasting room, and walking back and forth from the cave with visitors, no matter how stressful (I wasn’t stressed, at all, please note.) it got, I never detached from the character and what they were saying.  They constituted the entirety of the Now, and the freedom was from any potential angst or worry of conversion.  I did sell wine, but I didn’t care.  I learned the story of the people, the couple that drove out from Sonoma to celebrate the man’s birthday.  He, with his wife.

Feel like I’m on auto, already.  Like I not even need touch the yoke.  Like the switch has already been flipped.  Like I’m not working. Utter creative.  Thieved my own destiny.  You decide the words, you decide the story, you decide the YOU of it all.  I am on autopilot.  Enjoying the flight.  Enjoying the peripatetic sight and presence of everything.

Need to drink water, for run.  Be more than hydrated when in that 80 degree breeze, if there is a breeze.  Hoping there is.  This Account Executive story, in its I believe 40th day of duty, exactly like running.  I’m running, catching my own time, old time, and beating it.  Not even nine o’clock, and I have answers, questions, multiple theses, a new music.  Not stopping, can’t let self stop.  Notes for tomorrow’s lecture, now water.  People around me talking, not listening.  I’m in head of this new character and story.  Not selling, but listening, and at times speaking.  I’m finding that with work we complicate and over-oscillate and inwardly debate incessantly and that’s what compromises our fate, indefinitely.

1:38pm

Back from lunch, and still tired.  Sipping from the last coffee I got self, which was the first, from the breakroom.  Made one call, straight to voicemail.  Want to transact…. Want to fucking SELL.  Can feel myself getting impatient, and this IS valuable to readers in sales.  Don’t get impatient.  Don’t let yourself get lost in your impatient form of self.

Start with the people you know.  That’s all I can now muster and see and promising, beneficial.

Get enough sleep.  Tonight I will be sure to be in bed as soon as home.  Definitely before 9.  In order to know my Now, and control it to a point where I’m freed, I need adequate rest.  If I can get it.  You can probably tell that right now I’m a bit wandering and sluggish, more than usual.  So… keep working.  Get back on the bloody phone…

Number coincidences, with the times in the article, and the word count being 529.  Today is speaking to me, telling me to break from wine’s fuckwit industry and only be and write here.

3:26PM.  First deal closed, today!  I’m celebrating and rejoicing a bit, but I’m very much tempering it.  Have to “keep the party going”, as I said in an email.  Made a couple calls, now to make more.  Haven’t done much else but make sure everything is in order for this transaction.  Nothing on books tomorrow but a couple calls.  Will be on phones but the aim is creative… creative approaches to conversations and interactions, creative ways to prospect.  One guy I met said to write down as many people as you can, that you know closely and well and not so.  Don’t look at people as prospects, look at them as people, people you want to get to know.  The literary approach… get to know their story and narrative.  The literary approach I have with wine will even more prove useful and relevant in this business.  Writer in a tech office… of course, of course!

Eating PB&J wife made me, just now.  Tired a bit after workout, but not to a degree with impedes my motion’s place and application.  New ways to speak this company, what it does and what it means, more than the simple list of products and services.  That’s certainly part of it, but it’s NOT the entirety.  This sales teaches me that I need to even more break any mold or template.  Not that I’m sticking to one, but write more post-it’s that define Sonic, that speak and SHOW Sonic.  How can I catalog and list, or even post what I’m thinking right now, after this first sale and after a Senior Account Exec told me I NEED to be in front of people.  She called my speaking eloquent and strong, and being on the phones is absolutely NOT the only path to what I’m after.

A Walk to the Front Door

Words, having conviction.  Conviction is not only what “sells”, but what proves memorable.  First sip of coffee, off. Off into the journal, on the Road.  Was thinking something yesterday, about travel and moving, movement.  But the specifics are lost on me this morning.  Plan for today is simple—Calls.  Speak on Sonic, speak on ideas, ideas for businesses, and writing–  THAT’S IT.  Yesterday someone messaging me, asking me if I want to go on a writing adventure with them.  They concerned about being a good writer, they don’t know writing well, they’ve been told for years that their writing isn’t mighty.  I tried my best to quell their concerns and anxieties.  I urged them to just write.  Then I told myself that I need do the same.  Today at lunch, writing and reading.  Writing about my reading.  After receiving the message last night while tasting some 2016 Landmark Pinot which surprised me with its attractive act and tap, I saw Jack upstairs in his room beginning his new Harry Potter book.  Can’t remember the title, which one it is in the series, but the thick one.  Or the most meaty, weighty page stack I’ve seen him bring home to day.  I thought the reading and writing adventure are, or should be, always in helix.

Not sure I was even walking to the front door of the building, after parking.  Felt like I was floating.  I nearly hovered past the door.  Why.  What’s causing this meditation about my character and in my inner voices.  There’s like, I don’t know, a student and professor chant about the morning. I’m learning, with a learning curve that doesn’t indicate any compromise or handicap.  Now that I’m through the door and in the building, I’m moving.  This Mike Madigan knows what he wants but doesn’t know too much about it.  Hence, I suppose, the nature to this project.  On this 6th step of it.  What now, and to where.

The wine last night put my visions and meditations in a number of noted tumbles, forcing more thought and words, conviction in wine.  Chardonnay and Pinot, and whatever else.  The conversation around me currently interrupts the inner recital.  Wish people would just be quiet, but they’re doing their job, and well at that, what I should be doing.  Okay, I say to self.  Note everything, like one of the people talking now that minces my concentration.  He showed me a photo log of sites that he’s inspected and where installs have been transpired.  I was daunted by his photos, not just by how many there were, but the variation and expanse of focus.  Am I aiming to be the top sales person in this division, I thought last night with the Pinot?  No.  Not necessarily.  But I will make an impression, or have my story read.  Not so much a story on sales, but doing something different.  Writer in a tech office.  Often I sense some quake in my character grieving, “I don’t want to write about that….” Or “Don’t write about Sonic.” But ever, that’s all I think about.  This new character, the new story.

A thousand words, Friday’s beginning.  Have to send flight plan, as I call it, to Mark.  Then, off into day.  Prospecting, yes, but building… story.  The story and how I write this new story is how “success” will be gripped.  Appetite for associate words and sentences, more pages in these business cards, this messy work area that I wish somehow I could find time to organize. May come in on Sunday, before winery. Shit… forgot to bring new journal.  Wonder if they have any here, like the ones I see Tasha with, or other people in Marketing.  Checked, and no.  No matter. There are legal pads, and I swear to not start as I have in the not so removed past where I begin penning on one and don’t reach the last page.  Remembering that movie, Crashing, where the writer only used legal sheets, writing on the couch of those two English students. Miss being a student, miss going to class and writing, having something to turn in. Then why not do it again?  Okay….  I’m a student.  Studying, well, THIS.  The Now.  Tasha told me those little journals were from a TedX event years ago, and they’re all being used or have been used.  I have legal sheets,   Elephantine plains that want my words, or I’m telling myself they do.

Reading Road again, as I noted the other day.  And already it strikes me differently.  Not just with Dean in how he’s presented, but the narration and how it always returns to Dean.  That is the singularity.  He is Sal’s Road, even when he’s not on page, or at all in a chapter.  Reading now as my son does his Potter manuscripts.  Just thought, while reading a bit of Road that I should use the blog as my notebook. I don’t need another legal pad.  Already have one on desk, to right next to elbow under a little notepad.  Need more coffee. Already.

Projects beginning to surface.  Wondering how much more writing I’d have to page if I ceased using paper.  Apart from the legal pad.  Or, what if I decommissioned that, too?  More space on desk…. Post-it’s under forearms.  One of them reading, “Before you write—Where are you and what are you doing?  In one word, and ideally one syllable.” Think.  See.  I’m seeing where I want to go in this AE walk.  Keep everything simple.  Say less, listen more.  One project, one word, Sales.  How it should never be sales, how what so many want to do is convert before contributing to a conversation, a new association and relationship.  Right after I walked through the door this morning, I told myself, “Today, no selling.” When I call down these lists, I notice myself getting at times unsettled, or anxious.  And I’m not even on the call yet much less through the door talking about what we can do for them.  No selling.  Just call and say HI.  That’s it.

8/9/19

Day FIVE

Oneness Again Promised

Meeting with leads group this morning.  Shot quick video.  Productivity already producing and profuse, this morning.  Hoping to run at lunch, but I’m considerably hungry.  Can eat right after the run, telling self.  Keep the movement noticeably to self, and educating.

Garmin charging, workout articles under desk.  Everything I need for a lunch run, right here with me.  No excuses, like so many of my running connections say.  Leaving for Petaluma meeting in twenty minutes.  Then back here for some calls, creative prospecting work.  Creativity, conversation…. Last night I decided to prove more that I can actuate what I advocate.  Produce more through control of character, story, control the character and you control the story.

May have to cancel afterwork meeting, today.  Not happy about doing do.  Today on day 5 of my mission to the office and Road and whatever else, I’m seeing the story with more glimmer and promise.  And that waking early, earlier than usual needs to be a set practice.  It’s more than philosophy, more than discipline.  It’s right here, in the Sonic office with me.  What I do for Sonic and how I approach business.  Creatively.  It should always be creative, and ever-moving, changing, evolving and vocal, narrative.

Last night before going to bed, I decided to change the story.  How I see everything.  Hoping to maintain it indefinitely, if not eternally.  But there needs to be a shift in disposition.  A takeover of yay-saying presence and speak.  I want my first signing, in my new post in this business-to-business department.  I feel it nearing, but feeling isn’t material.  I’ll just force it into immediacy.   With poetic business hand.  Not so much doing the job less, but speaking and utilizing self MORE.

Anymore this could be a business blog, not a wine blog.  But it’s wine that taught me to study more closely the Now, where I am and what I’m doing.  Wine precipitated and initiated all this.  This is a ramble, I know, but that’s what the morning has caused and promoted in my story.  The movement tireless, and I can’t stop in the composition of my principle composition.

Challenge to self, today… more singularity, more focus.  Promising self, ONENESS.  Containment.  Support and speak the thesis, like I begged students.  I would always tell them, start with and return to a singular word or thought.  This morning reminds me, as does the Sonic office.  Shifting character, mood, approach, disposition like I said.  A set practice, yes, but one trenchant and repeatedly told.  Taking off, like Kerouac.  For the Road, my Road, my character and story revisited.  Writing about this office and what it provides in way of prose and specifics… the pens, files, notes, folders, notes to self, folders with self notes and visions.

8/8/19