……..

Up, readying for tomorrow’s departure and back to Sonoma which I’m dreading but also looking forward to.  Back in the AE seat.  Sent a couple emails this morning as well as a text to a prospective client.  I’ll do a call with my SE when back on Thursday, same day as a dentist appointment I forgot about.

Coffee, rain outside.  Not talking to people other than Mom and Dad today.  Want to fall further into my writing, these pages, the book.  Last night having a Pinot from St. Francis and then the Alexander Valley Vineyards blend with dinner which could swear had Brett in it.  Not in an intrusive of complicating way, but it was there, I swear.

Need to shave an shower, go for a walk or run maybe.  Thinking just a walk today. What’s the high desert temp outside?  37.  Not in the mood to run.  Would love to go to Starbucks and write, around no other humans, no disrespect to my parents but this morning I need quiet–  STOP RIGHT THERE.  Calm down… it’s the anxiety surrounding leaving Sunriver, and when I’ll be back next.  What’s next in other stories, the shift for one, and who knows what else.  Looking forward to seeing the kids, but not Sonoma County.  Definitely think my adoration of wine country has been diminished if not modified.  I still consider it home, and will live there for an indeterminant time, but… I don’t know…. Feel differently about it.  Especially Santa Rosa.

8:38, going to SBUX in a second.  Or not.  My indecision is pushing me to lunacy.  Stop writing, go for a walk, re-read student responses, think more about wine and the place you went yesterday for lunch in bend with the cool bar and the wine list, the mimosa I had with that brilliant vegetarian omelet, and in a pint glass.  Tasted a couple beers at Ten Barrel and had a pint with Mom and Dad, bought pint glasses for new house (whenever I’m in it….).

WHAT IS BOTTLEDAUX.  An extension of the AE story.  Yes I talk about wine a lot and think about the wine shop and winery idea, but that has to be AFTER BDX is alive and lucratively producing.  Can hear the rain outside, and want to walk in it, away from noises and walls, this keyboard, my own anxiety.  I get a message from someone and don’t respond or acknowledge it or even open it so it appears still as unread.  Email last night from some people, no response.  Need some distance from humans and their voices, noises, frivolous conversation.

The departure has me in this growl. When back, making the AE story and Sonic this blog… what an AE does as soon as he or she comes back from a long overdue vacation.  Wake early, open notebook, make calls, follow up on leads and outstanding Docusigns.. prospect new business of course and in this October’s end start setting plan for next year.  MY idea.. go far beyond Sonic, have this be a Mike Madigan story more than the company’s.  Guess a self-education moment in personal branding, or writing, or whatever…. I’m just talking to myself, sorry, and trying to talk SELF out of this mood.