past fog

11:43pm [8/20/12] — Reading an entry, two years ago TODAY, with the same promises, dreams.  Makes me sick.  Now, I really start acting, proving.  Tomorrow, printing everything.  Feel like mikeslognoblog & bottledaux convey a 3-year meditation.  Time for the writer to wake up.  May do a tasting, tomorrow.  Expose Self to new wine.  Further my knowledge of style, varietal interpretation.  Need more randomness.  So, going to Barnes & Noble, looking through the Art section.  Visual Art, I mean.  Like Kelly [I’m sure] does.  More randomness…  What should I do?  How about go to Oliver’s, buy a Napa Cab that I shouldn’t.  Something humorously expensive.  Yeah, why not.  Need more randomness.  What if I…  start filling out a Stanford application, for a PhD?  In the 8/20/10 entry, I said “Maybe this term will help catapult me to Stanford (don’t think I’ve forgotten about that target).” And I haven’t lost sight.  At all.  Now, with a little son looking to me for direction, fortification, I need execute operation.  Just keep writing, my former professor says.

9:24am [8/21/12] — Writing a little for project R, then fleeing back to poems.  This recent poetry binge, just what I need, honestly.  Want everything to be Art, in my day, days.  Was just thinking of that friend of  mine who passed away recently.  Poetry, these little rhymed notes 2 mySelf, in the little pages I always keep in my right-rear pocket, help me stay Artistic, continuous in creation, in my Creative impulses.  I’m also less domesticated in my writing, if that makes sense, when writing verses.  I’m not concerned with punctuation, capitals, spacing, anything.  I just write.  What a concept for a writer.

Should just jump now to Comp Book, but I’d rather meditate, or [let’s be honest] take up page space here on the “blog.” Last night’s Zin, not that impressive.  But, again, I’m not much “Zin guy,” anyway.  Rome, thinking of Rome.. why?  Probably ‘cause that song came on yesterday while driving home from an errand, on the Thievery Pandora channel.

Hotel Rooms; logo notepads, pens, mints, soap– want to experience in several spots, many as able.  That’d have to help the writing.  Have to keep it iceberg lettuce-fresh, random, lively.  Still a bit bothered that this year’s writing mirrors 2010’s.  Maybe that’s a good thing, I was thinking this morning while brushing teeth.  Isn’t that thematic linearity?  Coherence?  Isn’t it a Positive that my sights are still set on Stanford?  Now the mocha’s talking.  My mocha voice.  Need music..  Pandora, Thievery.  There…

Yesterday, Jack at his 6-month appointment, taking 5 shots.  Yes, he cried upon needle entry, but he stayed smiling, content, inquisitive, with wandering sight; talking, swaying arms as if seeing if he could fly right off that little table, off the blanket we set for him.  Feel like I could learn a lot from my little favorite of characters.  His optimistic tilt, palpable joy, innocent movements tell me that I need to let go, of anything stressing me, making me walk in direction antithetical.

memory– girl in large group, telling me to tweet more to get more followers. Remember thinking I’d rather write more to have more readers.  Why would I waste time “tweeting” when I could be writing? What would that do for me?

NOTES: some video & photography today, in Bennett Valley AVA.. grapes’ll be harvested soon, some already are, so I need to snap before the clusters are snapped off.

-Journaling everything in my day, days.. that’s my Creative custom, my “Style” if you would…

-Galleries representing Artists.. the show last night, the arrogant gallery owners, with the Artists they pimp, charge evil commission.  Despicable.  I’ll always be in FULL control of my work.

5:16pm.  Managed to go for a drive through BV, but couldn’t find a vineyard I could easily shoot.  They’re all roped off.  Or fenced off, really.  Managed to get a haircut, by a brutal and embittered newly-21 cuttress.  Then, to Whole Foods for beer.  Lagunitas’ Little Sumpin’.  Using one of my pics from last week for 1Stop post.  Yes, I want to take more pics, shoot more video, but the priority is the WRITING.  Always.  Wine blogging, photography, media, all that, just a sideshow, intended to help the Life aim– Living by Pen.  [529 words]

Don’t know why I always feel the need to note when the number 529 shows its face randomly.  But either way, stashed away $109 for chapbook1.  Don’t know when I’ll release it, but the money’s there.  That’s all I can say.  Don’t want to make any more of the same promises I did 2 years ago.  That’s pathetic, now I give it more thought.  Tonight, all Comp Book.  The beer here agrees.  Need to be more organic as an Artist, especially one of pen.  Just put on music.  Morcheeba station.  Imagining Self on an overnight, in Miami, with the current song, “Herbal Essence” by Hazy Rooms.  I just flew in.  Only 1 delay this time, back in SFO, on ramp.  But here I am, at the hotel’s very fantasy-centered bar area.  Went with a glass of some obscure Sauv Blanc from Paso Robles.  Perfect for this weather, especially the humidity…  Ending fantasy, off to play with pictures.  Will write you on morrow’s stretch.  Bona sera…