appointed pages, a beer bottle

Finished yesterday’s 3-page stint.  Now, just writing, relaxing.  Enjoying these Wine Bar beats.  Tomorrow, first day at SV Winery.  Nervous…  Not even a little.  More excited, now.  May have been a little nerved, yesterday.  Also on mind: publishing.  Was paid at 12a this morning, doing budget.  Only going to allow Self $100.  That’s it, that’s final.  Have to remind Self that budgeting is not about how much you’d like to set aside for business, or how much you THINK you need..  It’s how much you CAN allocate, how much you can honestly afford.  For me, now, $100.  Probably more than you need to know, reader, I know.  BUT, this is what truly independent writers [almost wrote “Self-published writers,” yuck!] should have in scope, always.  If they choose to ever go beyond an expected, fashionable, blog, if they started one.

Next to Jack, now.  He lays in his little bassinet, looking up at me, telling me to take a break from this device.  But I do think he likes the music.  Also looking down at my favorite little character, I again sit shaken, wanting to make this little one proud of his father.  SO, I have to keep writing, stay in constant session.  Trust Self, edit minimally, know I’m right in my streamed consciousness flight.

Last day off before returning to 5-day runs.  Speaking of runs, running, I’m setting  Self to run a couple miles later today.  Have eye on a race later in year.  One of the crew members at AV put me onto its time.  Clocking out for a small break, to have a talk with Little London/Kerouac, here.  Till later…


3:12pm.  Haven’t had one of these in a while, java chip frappuccino.  Sounded better than a second mocha.  After this entry, off to review SV Winery’s site, just to arm Self with some selling points, truly immerse Self in their wines.  Not like the box, when they’d hand us some packet before a winery visit.  “Go ahead and read this,” C2 would often say, tossing it onto my desk–or rather, into my cube.  So much healthier, now this writing’s away from that devilish wine labor camp.  And don’t think I’ve forgotten about all the notes I took while in that chair, with that headset, staring at that screen.  No run today.  Disgusted.

Looking through this Comp Book, the new one…  Need to finish this one piece I started just before leaving AV.  But instead of saying how I’m GOING to, why don’t I just DO?  My ever-present problem as a diarist.  Can’t get travel out of my head, must be why I’m so turned around, coupled with how fast Kerouac’s growing.  Almost 4 months.  Already.  How could that ever be possible?  Makes me only hate time, even more than I did before he was born.

Going to jump journals, again.  Over to Comp Book.  OR maybe that little black journal I bought a while ago, at some office supply store in Marin, of all places.  Tired of key pushing.  And, to be brutally honest, of wine to some extent.  In only microscopic moment, I’ll be in the car, en route to retrieve a bottle for tonight’s 1StopWineBlogShop beer tasting.  How many invited?  1.  Me.  Two, including whichever journal’s elected.

(6/5/12, Tuesday)