Hope it yields something. The stress of this year, I honestly don’t know what to do with it. It’s contaminative at this point, and spreading to certain areas of concentration.
Read something yesterday on pivoting, and the necessity of it. Maybe it’s that simple, I need to pivot, whatever that means and entails.
Diving further into my writing and this reality present. Still too early to leave for San Rafael. Want to land around ten. Walk around, pass out cards, do what I can. Didn’t go to leads meeting this morning, no mood. And, already told them I was leaving, so….
In office, WORK, all night tonight.
Overwhelmed, stressed, unmotivated…. TURN THIS AROUND, MIKE!!
Okay, getting out of the house, driving now to San Rafael, and if I’m there early just have coffee at that one spot as soon as you enter the business park. Then to Novato, then Petaluma, then back to office.
Many of these books I should just get rid of, give away or throw away. Thought this office would motivate me more to post and scribble, write and finish projects but I’m always distracted it seems. That’s my fault, not the loft’s.
Another double espresso before I leave… then the drive. New thought just now but no time to write it. See if it takes any residence in head. Hoping it does, I need to. And command me out of this turbulence.
Logging off. Espresso then drive. Bringing AE Notebook, with the note of where to canvass in Petaluma. Not that it’ll make a difference with the way things have been going, I’m sure. And I hate to sound negative, but … where I am.
Writing about writing… personal essay writing with more emphasis on the immediate, as I always write—and yes I’m starting to get annoyed with my own sentences. What does that indicate? If you’re a shrink, by all means have at it.
Was listening to Lawson’s book on the flight back for a bit. Should be freer, and more honest like here. Who gives a shit how people react. This anxiety associated with being an Account Executive, I have to find it funny. President’s Club last year and now I’m sure they’re like, “Why the fuck did we promote him?” That’s funny, to me.