Big day, for a number of reasons. Don’t need to get into it here, now, but….

This is a day of days.

7:07 and Jackie already up, playing a game on couch behind me.

Not sure I’ll be running today with this cramp or muscle thing, tightness on left side.  OH well, can run for 30 and do weights, maybe.  Light run.

Still no sales for month but like an old friend said yesterday, nothing you can do.  OR, only so much you can do.  He shared his belief that two months out of the year’s 12 are just going to be bad.  “Complete shit” was the way he descried those two months.  And when that happens, “I don’t give a shit.”, he decreed.  Wouldn’t say I have quite the same attitude as him, but starting to be something similar.

Not going to HQ today.  Stony Point instead.  Said I’d only bring one laptop, but I’m bringing both.  It’s what I do, why fight it.

Jackie tells me he made an account for me on one of his games, my account name being “Awesome Dad”.  The tears are still bubbling and threaten to spill any second.  Hold in, hold in….

Emma still asleep, as is her 10 month old brother.  How is he 10 months already?  Trite questions to ask, almost like when people say shit like “Heck, the grow up so fast don’t they…” I’m studying, all of this.  How I want to live the rest of my life, that’s where my thinking goes.  How do I want my babies to see me, read me, how do I want the shared reactions of my life and work to sound – to my kids and myself.

Coffee not going to be enough.  Make another cup after this.  Find that my thoughts …