Couple calls and emails, getting hungry but refusing to lunch out, or lunch at all. Work through it. Settling into this scene and atmosphere in the office. Internet, community and conversation, connectivity. 4 hours more I can spend here and collect as many ideas as I can. But not just for sakes of collection, rather actuation.
More people in the office today than the last time I was in. Obviously not a full staff, but more than I’ve seen before everything started. Still feeling groggy, tired from the early morning with little Henry.
All thoughts and identities in one encasing, one bottle. Here, now in office… what else do I do, can I do. Hmmmm…. Blocked, stalled. When such, land on paper. Wrote in journal for a bit. And stay in this chair till something happens. Walking around the inside of this building, you see equipment, desks, wired, dead screens, several different neighborhoods, projects, ideas and specialized teams…. Then I’m over that wall from a couple minutes ago – “blog within a blog within yes another blog”. Idea. Short posts. All under 50 words. More notes than complete sentences; embrace of fragments, expressive blips and quips.
Using the exhaustion now. Not letting it cloud me or slow me, but a freeing tide that’s carrying me closer to my Sonic, and at a supersonic beat. Not letting self get up or even walk around. Stay in chair, what I’ve been telling students at the JC for years, easily over 10. You think about what you want from your career, or what you want your career and life’s work to be. Then, the bridge contemplation – how you get there. What’s the composition of the bridge. It’s a lot to think about and acknowledge especially when you really realize that life isn’t forever. All seconds have impact and contribute or take away from the bridge.
When I started blogging in 2009, it was with the purpose of writing about wine and that’s pretty much it. No surprise, humans change. I still love wine, even more since covid started trying different producers and regions and blends, but I’ve grown. I’ve grown past wine. There’s more to this, my story, the Mike Madigan manuscript. Wine is still there, I’m just flying at a higher altitude I guess you could say. Sounds a bit arrogant now that I read that sentence, but hat’s where I am and am always thinking. “Go beyond wine, beyond writing, beyond blogging…..” I’ll say to myself then assess where I land. Guess stuff you think about only 18 days before turning 42.
The chair, here, taking me to a new There. Revolution, against certain fibers of self. Re-write. Centralization, ONE PAGE. ONE STORY. ONE BOTTLE. Driving here I thought about when I started the first blog in ’09, what I was doing then, teaching at however many campuses and pouring at St. Francis on the weekends. How did I do that? WHY did I do that? What was my aim, or endgame? Thinking the same now…. Know I’m closer. Hear more people here in the Sonic office, and realize this is all mine in a respect… all the resources, people and their knowledges, a cathedral of self-ed’.