Have a talk with yourself, Mom has always urged.

Now that I’m where I am in terms of age and life and having three kids, two of which can be lousy batty and one who just needs needs needs being not yet 7 months old, I have to talk to myself.  Where am I, what am I doing…. How did I get here?  On the couch writing while the bigger kids play a game.  After this at a tasting room on Sonoma Square, a result of meeting Chris and hitting it off being introduced by a mutual friend, Dwight, and all three of us coming from Kunde Family Estate.

Feel wine lessening in impact in my story.  May just be getting bored with it, I don’t know.  Felt this a while ago as you know but now it’s back again, this distanced sentiment, and I’m just letting it ride, see what it says to me.  Focus more on the writing, I thought while upstairs brushing teeth.  “Anything that takes time away from writing you have to look at…” I said to myself, splashing water on face.  Does wine take away from writing?  Many times, yes.  Then there are the instances where it encourages, and emboldens, makes me like a Beat warrior on the page, writing as Jack did with the revolving teletype paper for his novel.

Thinking of myself as a character in a movie, or game like the one my kids play in front of me.  Me, Mike Madigan, main character.  What is he looking for?  What’s his objective?  To write.. live as a writer, blogger, travel… meet people, know their stories.  Talk to self, learn more about the character.

Line from a Nas song from his Illmatic album scolded me in the car the other day, driving to Berkeley… “That buck that bought a bottle could’ve struck the lotto…” How much have I spent on wine?  See, this is what I’m talking about….  Invest the money before I have a chance to touch it.  Wine and I stand our ground, point cannons at the other, and still.  A Cold War with vino and her spells…

NOTES:

-Write about music

-Listen to more music

-INVEST

-Run

-Start planning for tomorrow’s 5am wake, NOW