journal

10/6/20

9:09am About to call a prospect from yesterday.  Should get ink, I’m hoping.  Need to be more startup oriented, more unplanned and wild in movements.  I know, more promises.  So then I just do.  Drove kids to Oakmont this morning and seeing all the burns and charred hills, dead structures reminds me to not think.  What does thinking do but keep you in one place.

Moving money, budget set for rest of week.  Quiet in home without Jack and Emma here.  Little HL asleep upstairs, I enjoy the latte and thoughts of day before day has a chance to lift off ground.

Just spoke to prospect, going to send contract his way….  Want these bigger contracts to land.  I know, I know.. the pandemic and blah blah BLAAAAAAAH.  One thing at a time.

And a declaration….  I need to go to bed earlier, and wake earlier.  Get writing done in morning, notes throughout day, run in afternoon.  That’s the architecture, going forward.  Not a promise or evidence of self-deception, but a DECLARATION.  Battle plan… architecture.  If the structure fails, the edifice falls.

Contract sent off… Now, research as I wrote I’d do.

Notes….. a startup from notes.  Musings… in-the-moment jots.

11:26am Contract in.  Day flying by… emailed students and posted to blog for them.

What can I do now… startup searching, conversations.  Feeling odd in this day, this time right before noon.  Have to get Jack and Emma and get them lunch soon.  Leaving at 12:30.  That gives me an hour.  Do some more research, I tell myself.

Quiet.  No emails coming in.  Quick lunch, rest of Emma’s burrito from yesterday that she barely touched.  Back to prospecting.. looking.  A little research.

Zero’d out balance in checking and wallet, so no more spending for remainder of week.  I’ll allow usage of change, and the $1 bills in the center console of Prius but that’s it.

2:39pm Back from picking them up.  Lost a lot of time in that outing.  Have to move fast.  Shouldn’t even be writing this, to be honest.

Having to stop self for a minute, opening a nitro, finding leads, noting more notes in my line-by-line journal….  The idea of a startup isn’t solely tech but just making something materialize, I find.  Bringing something to life.  Starting as many conversations as you can….. connect, but not just to connect.  This isn’t a collection of contacts contest.  It should never be.  Just keep moving and creating, something from nothing.  Less than nothing.  Every turn of your head invites a new project and business… to my right, canned coffee and two phones.  Mobile and desktop.  Seeing this now as a interstellar and bright invite.

EOD already written, as you’ve written the entire day.  You see everything.  No need for worry or anxiety, and preoccupation with this whamdemic.  Stop thinking about it.  Just build, build more.. play with architecture, angles and arrangements.  Everything expresses, everything instructs, and EVERYTHING is speaking to you.

Bringing this energy to class tonight.  Was dreading it but now just going to make it something else, something I enjoy.  For me, the students, the experience…. A startup.  I started something new because I, wanted it so.