2:57.

Charge laptop.

Have another glass of water.

Keep chewing gum.

Tempted to take a nap.  Shit… should I get a coffee?  Don’t have any in the house.  Part of the reason I’m going to store before getting little Kerouac.

(self note)

Your disposition directs you to and away from your goals, dreams.

Be mindful of its shape and beat.

8:24 Sipping a Willamette Pinot I haven’t met before.  Coffee for morning made.  Scheduling everything.  Bed, early.  Wake early… everything early.

Kids outside, playing late.  Me in here with wine and wine bar beats.  Thinking of my wine bar—  NO.  Not wine bar.   So trite.  Wine Quarter….  Everything positive.  While walking back to my car at Safeway after getonting groceries, I had this conversation in my head… someone talking about me, what I left to do… start my own business.  Bottledaux of course, and all that entails, brings with it.. what it’s about.

Bottledaux must be brought to life, and I mean loud and real and unavoidable life.

Be an AE for Bx.  Writing notes in head and letter in journal.  Have to sip this Pinot slow.. like I just noted Tasha, I’m in a certain celebratory curve right now.

Look right, kids playing on this small street.  They’re happy, know no better.  I want more for them.  Nothing makes them happy than riding those bikes and those swiveling whatever those are low to the ground things that Emma’s on now.

Today is that day, that day that changes everything in my character… the “awesome day” that I hoped for and couldn’t imagine actually happening to me when I was working at that fucking “small marketing firm” in downtown Napa.  Just a small call-center.  That alone, how they referred and referenced themselves taught me something.  I think of Dad and how anti-sales he is, but yet he can sell himself.  His stories and experiences, credentials.  Without even trying.

What happened today, I need study.  What brought me to it.  The bridge, its composition.  I see it.  Just need to write it out, examine the sentences.

As the laptop charges I charge self, order self to bring in more business by simply being the most fundamental of Mike Madigan frames and forms and figures that I can produce.

Stopping self from obsessing too much in what I did today, I listen to this track.  Put self in Sunriver, or Hawaii, or Paris.  My apartment there, that I retreat to twice a year to write a book each time.  Two weeks to produce a MS.  Plan realistic and dimension to my Now.  All music.  This track, the next, and another after.

8:42 This song is the one I alway associate with and think with this artist.  Music is an attribute of fundamental layered ness and immediacy with me.  Everything I do.  From being an AE, to anything wine-related, to copywriting (which after recent dealings I’m with gaveling declaration done), to running, being a parent…. everything.  Music has to be there, here, now… while texting my friend Tasha and telling her what I did today and thanking her for her call back in 2018 and talking to me on that initial call while I walked the SB lot at Roth.