A carefree sense dominates me without any announcement, just controls and steers and all I can do is smile.

Defense against nerves and anxiety, any worry. Control, that’s where it starts. Or really, the lack of.

Coffee here isn’t that bad to be honest. Thinking of what I have to do when back at the desk.. made a list on this laptop, transfer to the other one maybe. Or just scrap the list. What if I print it and never look at it again? What good would that do?

Working more from memory… if I don’t remember it, then it’s not too crucial, you could argue.

Then the nerves counterattack… not sure what the focus is, or from where they’re springing. Holding off on the second coffee for now.