Up at 6:40 kids already ready.  I’m confused why we’re so ahead of schedule.

Made my usual departure announcement to the kids for “Daddy Airlines”, and I couldn’t believe what I said… “Okay guys we’re boarding in…. 40 minutes?  Okay, well, keep chillin,” I said.  And, managed to fit in a bath for Henry this morning, one I’ll admit is a bit overdue—

Unrest, tending to…

Henry v Emma, then Jack v Emma, Emma under attack from every side, I intervene.  Daddy UN.

Not pressuring self to clean later, or do anything.  Just rest and quiet before dinner with a friend tonight.  

Calm now, Henry at his toys, Boarding time still over 20 minutes away.  How the fuck did I do that?  Paranoia and obsession with time.  Hurts and helps…

Henry invades, to give me a hug.  Love him so much.  “Dada… Dada….” Never get tired of it.  Soon he won’t say that, and call me Daddy, or just plain bland DAD like Jack does.  Ugh, time, you ravenous and beastly attacker.

Hungry but not letting self.  Ignoring it, and my circuitry, being.  Staying in thoughts and count which os contradictory to something I wrote recently, I know.  Then I break, heat up the waffles not had by Henry and Emmie…