Breathing, no stress.  Anxiety again denied existence powers or any voice, gravity.  

Got store run out of the way for kids, big kids tonight, preparing for this new story…. My thoughts and attitude going in.

Thinking about EVERYTHING…. Work and the kids, this page, today and how tired I am but after a power nap just now and some in-the-moment espresso I’m better and over-eager to have my kids here with me.  Me in my dad story… all of this for them, I keep telling myself that in 6 months time certain instabilities will be quelled.  More of the needed self-talk writers like I need imbibe.

The office saying different sways and dances to me, urging I do the same.  Be unafraid…. Keep the inward jots and conversation alive and aloft.  Have to go back to the store, for one thing.  Wait, no I don’t.  Never mind.  So want to get out again, go for a drive before getting Jack and Emma.  Do things different I keep reminding myself, starting with this.

Sleeping next to laptop tonight, early to bed with kids so that would mean around 9,,,

Music helping, as always.  Quick walk, different store.