6:18 at loft for a bit with Emma unloading groceries and dinner for them.  She’s in the loft while I collect here in office and write my EOD email.  Sent… now noting notes and musings on one of the ideas from today.  Writing, and what to do when stuck or perceptively blocked, think you’re blocked or stuck.. Postmodern meaning in the seemingly plain, or boring.  One constantly moving story of a single parent, always leaning on that…

Should head back to field soon.  Budget tonight, and move what monies I can to this one idea… not sure it’s much but I don’t think it requires much as some monies have already been planted.

I have no choice but to use what I have.. this story.  Tech dad, single or not doesn’t matter.. this new opportunity waiting on a fucking call it didn’t come today even after my follow-up.  Have to be patient, yeah I know… but I have kids to feed and want to pay for whatever college they want, if they choose to go, which I hope they do.  Their mom did through grad school, and so did I.  So, just a hope.  A strong one.

….

7:52, receipts done.  Time to heat dinner.  Learning a lot about my story through these receipts… groceries for the loft mostly, treating self to lunch or dinner occasionally and Kerri with me on a few dinners… Gas for Ravé, not much else.  No buying of music equipment, or any gear for running or sports for self.  No vacations, which will soon change as you know with my solo trip to Monterey.  Anyway, dinner for big kids…

…..

Dinner done, readying for bed.  Love having them here, seeing their interests and reactions, occasional attitudes then real attitude which puts me in serious dad dimension sometimes but mostly just has me in a catch of laugh laps.  Logging off, no more writing.  Just time with these little humans that little by little lose their littleness.  Jack is like a linebacker, and little Emma has a partial high school girl ‘tude more often now.  What do I do.  Day by day, guess that’s it.  Make it up as I go.  Just keep loving them, writing about them.  There’s always something to write.

THEM.  The EVERYTHING.

Most rich and layered, entertaining education, these single dad rapids…