More or less a productive day.  But again, quick.  The hours flew by me.  Back at desk after a small and later than usual power nap.  No pressuring self.  Enjoying day and life and me being here.  Grateful for what’s present and that includes me.

Staying with Ms. Kerri tonight so should be home early.  Heading to gym first thing, my plan.  Again, the kids.. can’t get them out of my thoughts.  Jack and how excited he was with his new baseball bat, Emmie with her little voice and helping me get groceries the other day, Henry with his calming demeanor and smiles first thing in the morning.

Operating from my mind differently, focused on happiness.  Should be in shower soon, then down to Santa Rosa.  99 degrees now, A/C comes on…. Different heat than yesterday.  Not lasting as long I guess.

Thinking about health, and how lucky I am to have mine.  When I was, what, 16, and going through al that shit.  Here I am.  So why do I let some people get to me, and why do I stress about quota and sales.  Oh my god who gives a fuck?

I want to go to New York.  How is it that as write I haven’t been?  Going back east with Kerri in November for her high school reunion.  We talked about renting a car.  I’ll drive back east.  I don’t think I’ve driven in another state except for Oregon.  Wait, is that right?  Wow… it’s like I haven’t lived.  Can’t imagine how many different states and countries Dad has pushed a gas pedal, filled up, put on a turn signal…

Intrigued by my journal, by the act of keeping a journal… being in this chair.  I’m 43 and am afraid of swimming through all those entries in the garage in a plastic storage tub/box that I brought here from the store unit.