from this morning

7:08am.

At desk, coffee and—

Difference.  Won’t make any notes or remarks on what I’m doing today, or prospecting.  I need a drive.  Somewhere.  Do have a chamber event at 10 or 10:30 I believe.  Virtually of course, people still keeping certain covid protocols and with this new variant that the news can’t stop talking about.  Hopefully that does something, provides some kind of lead or conversation.

Went to be earlier than I have in months last night.  Woke still tired.  Not sure if that’s ‘cause of a sleep hangover or I genuinely need more rest.  Maybe both.  Either way, I’m moving.

Trying to think of I’m doing something wrong in my prospecting but I don’t see how I could be.  Imposter syndrome moves in an encircles me, mercilessly.  Trying to ignore it.  I have to….  Just get out there, like I advised and posted—  See, I’m doing it it again.  The gonna-gonna talk.  Done.

Couple other small projects concerning the shift, and reading…. UGH, I’m doing it again.  What would Plath say, or Mr. Kerouac.  A young writer, which I’m not so much anymore, wanting to take off… needing those new experiences.  The Newness.

Running..  Running is THE Answer.  Absolutely.  Going to be hot today, so run on tread.  One hour.   A solid and committed hour.  Then tomorrow, find a new course.  Not around the Barlow in Sebastopol.  That didn’t work out the way I hoped.  Should I just run around here, Coffey Park?  OR, do more speed work.   Just run, Mike.  Who cares… OH, drive out to Sonoma maybe, run around Second Street where I park on my Caddis Sundays.

Dinner with the kids last night at the Mary’s down the street, making me smile now while remembering it and when there.  Poor waitress, overwhelmed as they were terribly understaffed.

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…more of a blogger, actually.  Never thought I’d hear myself or read myself saying that.  If anything, I want to live more and record it all, write less.  I mean, yes, I’ll still write, but not like with the attitude of “I’m a writer not a blogger!”, that I used to have and aggressively nice to anyone who asked or didn’t.

I have to run today, oh my god I have to.  Weighed myself the other day and gained back some of what I lost.  FUCK.  Okay… only straight coffee today, no latte.  Maybe do another 30 minutes on tread then 30 weights.  No, I want to run… and I’d rather not have to wait for that pull-down tricep weight machine again, or have to situate myself standing between two people with the free weights or dumbbells or whatever their called.  Just run, I tell myself.  Cross-training is a boon, but not the whole story.  Me as a runner for the rest of my life and running all over this planet… THAT is where I’m headed.

Reminded from something on social media, one of the bloggers I “follow”, to be patient.  Yes, with everything.  Running, the shift, sitting in my office and blogging, everything.