Quiet… everything quiet this morning. Don’t even hear the birds as aggressively as I did the past few mornings.
No spend today, no matter what. I’m zeroing everything. Not sure if I want to do leads meeting here in the office, or in car. Last time I did that, the car died and I had to have the batter switched out. Not that parking on Hopper by the Starbucks is what caused that, just saying…. The memory is still there and vivid.
Had some Mourvedre from Westwood last night, my friend working there, Drew, dropping some off at house.
Wrote something in BW journal, Writing Recipe…. Focusing on a bit of how, but more so what. Moved the idea was by this… this desk… be sheltered and shackled in-place since whenever back in March. Shit, it’s been that long? The semester’s over, so it must be. Can’t understand, or really have my head in that reality…. I’m going to be 41 in 8 days. Every sentence in which I mention time or even think about it and don’t write it.. I feel some mood. Either a newly noted and flexed fire, or some lowering lowness I have to fight off and write my way through, and out of. This morning, I’m set on production… a prominent and profuse production. Changing the direction and pace of the vessel. Not entirely, just in a fashion that accelerated my walk to my office and shop…. Gets me to the travel I so much need.
Hear the first bird, sound like down the street and to the right a little. Then a crow, he must not appreciate the littler chirper’s chirds. Then it stops…. Jack comes downstairs, says how tired he was last night, going to bed a s late as he did. He turns on a movie, and I say nothing as tempted as I am to say something like “TV off” or something like that, some expected parental order and command. Not in the mood for scuffle.
The idea of “dedicated dollars”, something Dad introduced me to years ago, when we were still in San Carlos. We were doing a budget or something, I showing him what money I had and he telling me you don’t have that amount as there are bills to honor and a savings goal I had at the time. Can’t remember what that was…. He later told me that I should not let anything toxify my aim in reaching this one amount, which I believe was $350, for something. He said that any temptation is “death to my goal”. It stuck with me…. And now before I move some money around and zero everything as I noted I had to, want to AND have to, hear his sagacity, again, again….