5/13/20

Organized monies, taking some notes, and into the day.  Coffee at the weird temp, but I don’t even close to care.  No Starbucks this morning for me and kids.  A no spend day.  Yesterday’s run was over $20. In fact, moving money into business account from checking as punishment for that ….  Why do I ever spend money at Starbucks, or any coffee joint for that matter?  Is it just the latte, or is it a habit, a pattern.. which has to end.

Today, more notes.  More emailing, calling, making everything short, or more advantageously abbreviated.  I don’t know what that means, and I don’t know if I mean it.  Tonight’s the last meeting of regular instruction for the semester, like this semester and its instruction and consistency has been at all “regular”.  Not even irregular, just failed.  On so many doctrines.

Communicated to students.  Posted to blog.  Now what do I do.  8:30.  Do I want a latte?  Hmmmm….  Want to get out, into the streets… want everything to go back to normal but I know it can’t and it probably won’t anytime soon since I just read that Los Angeles County is closed until August, or through July.  FUCK, I thought…  I have to go more virtual… with everything.  Get in front of the camera more… more spoken notes, recorded notes.  I’m writing which is great, but I have to do things different… bring #professormikey to every corner and puddle, hill and canyon on the internet.  Just share ideas, same as in the class.

Found a media creative company in SF yesterday… put me in a spiral, what I want to do and how I’ll do–  “It’s in Daddy’s office…” I hear Emma say to Jack in the other room, referring to his watch, an old Garmin I used to use on runs.  A crazy morning, but I won’t let self decay in composition.  Not at all.

Already done with the coffee I made last night, put into tumbler.  Now what do I do.  More coffee needed.  Hear other people’s kids over the zoom call in the other room.  A latte.. yes, need it.  Should I just slip out?  How would I do that?  Hate this work computer.  Making a list of lists for the day… scrub this laptop, write FULL page in journal, make 100 calls or try….  The morning is crazy but still a momentum from which I can benefit.  Jack tells me he’s going upstairs to play, leaving Emma and her mother, and me down here.  Melissa’s Zoom or computer or both isn’t working, and she stresses understandably.  What do I do, help?  Can I?  Think it fixed itself.  Just writing down everything that comes to mind… to my head.  Now Emma zooms upstairs.  Did she finish the cereal I just poured for her, that SHE requested?

Almost 9.  What do I do….  Have leads to contact, but not ready to do so.  Not yet.  Director just emailed us saying he’s taking the afternoon off for a personal matter, then later divulged jokingly that he’ll be playing golf.  Huh, I thought, maybe I should do something similar.  But where would I go?  Getting sick of this shelter-in-place… there’s no shelter here, only noise.  Use the noise, like these teachers talking about what to do with students, and what to do with contracts and the coming year, just talking and talking but no resolving.  Today, I’m resolving.  Clean the laptop, WRITE, plan, move more money around investing in the business quarters.

I’m calming… zenning… composed.  Somewhat.