Woke this morning stressed and in a mood.

You work through it.  Work bizarrely hard.  Don’t stop in reaching, in experimenting and trying new methods in approaching business.  Focusing A LOT on blogs today, and every day going forward.  Same way as Sales Engineers have their KPI’s, I set mine before me… 2 entries a day for bottledaux and #professormikey blogs, then one a piece for ‘u-sentence’ and ‘vinovinevin’.  Check budget and balances.  Cash on-hand….

I’m not letting this mood overtake or even talk to me.  Preparing a talk for tonight, for class…  Nothing to do with essays or essay writing, being a student or being in school… it’s a direct address of character composition and how to maintain it, make it a distinct.

Working at a Starbucks, which I hate, in Novato.  Town of Novato’s nice.  In fact I want to spend more time here connecting to community and more than just making connections.  I want to start my own echoes and visibility here in Novato, talk Sonic, walk around and introduce myself….  More speaking, more smiling, more introductions.

I HAVE TO wake earlier.  Now, it’s about dire, really.  Have coffee made night before, iced coffee.  Laptop out, journal page exposed.  Sorry, just a Monday, and Monday’s used to never get to me like this.  They used to not register at all.  So why do they now?  Is it my age?

Finally the music works.  Funny, or not so, some Starbucks have shitty wifi.  Either way, Coltrane and his notes in ears, and my mood fades.  I write faster, think with much more poise and personality.  And this gives me the thought of the coLAB, devoting more money to it.  Cancelling the gym, and yes even after going on Saturday and tallying 6.8 miles.  Huh, could I fit in a run today?  Not sure that would work, after promising Jackie I’d swing by his school in the afternoon, and take him to the bookfair.  “You promise?” He said, looking up at me like I determined whether his world continues or crumbles.  “I promise, buddy… I love you.” I said, tearing.  He made it specific, his targets… a book on gems, and a shark tooth(?).  Whatever he wants, that’s what I want him to have.  What is his interest in gems?  The other day on the patio, he played with this kit that had little rocks you dig into and find some mock-jewel.  “I’m a scientist.” He told me.  I smiled, playing catch with his little sister.

Everything I do today, with them in mind.  Sending prospecting emails, the meeting at 9:30 in BMK, then with the Architect in Berkeley…  Skimming through his website now, reading his blog, his story, seeing that I want THAT.  Just that.  Everything creative, from my thoughts, my mind and curiosities, from my children.  When they play, they just play.  There is no measure, there is no forethought, there is no obsession with results or feedback.  Movement, as I’ve stressed.

9:01.  Should head to car which is parked in back of this building, in a sec.  In Berkeley, after Architect initial, find somewhere to work, I’m now thinking.  Where.  OR, prospect… walk around, say hi, be VISIBLE, communicative.  No, find somewhere to follow up on prospects from last week, organize.  Ditch this backpack.  Tomorrow, when out leaving house… only phones and little journal I bought yesterday in Windsor.

3/2/20