starts with a defeat, somewhat of a failure, me not waking and running.  BUT, waking at 4 and starting to write…  So not a total low ebb.  No low ebb at all.  Haven’t done a word count of what I wrote and it really doesn’t matter.  I wrote during the 4AM hour, my arch enemy in recent months.  Haven’t waged any creative attack or offensive in a while, so hoping today’s the first of many many many…

Went in to retrieve and change Jack at around 1-something, want to say.  Went downstairs to sleep in office, on couch, waking a couple hours later to help with little Ms. Austen who needed some replenishment, my little sweet beat.  And that’s when I was up writing, after that.  Was so sure that I’d be able to stay awake till 5:20 when my alarm was cued or get in a power nap and wake when the digital sound sounded and be on pavement.  BUT, I turned off the alarm before falling back asleep for some reason, probably thinking I’d be pulled from sleep by Jack coming downstairs looking for me or the day’s story progression would just have it written that I wake in time to get in some kind of run.  But no.  I slept till 7:30-something, my wife coming downstairs to get me, amazing presence she is, making sure I was up and readying for work.  She went back to the babies and I rushed a shower.  So thankful I made this coffee before going to bed last night.  Otherwise I would have had to wait till getting here to cottage and making some for the winery crew, which would mean even more waiting.

There’s always tomorrow, I’m telling myself.  I’m not focusing on what I didn’t do this morning but rather what I’m going to do today, and tomorrow morning.  I’m focusing on being an adjunct, as I wrote yesterday during the 10-minute session, but an adjunct that is adhering to no course outline or any plan or any proscribed curriculum or institutional vision.  I’m going to share what I learn as I learn it, have discussions, grow and breathe and appreciate with any “students”, who I’ll more see as cohorts, or colleagues.

Have two stories to write for winery owner, both interesting and personal, rich with detail and narrative.  As a writer and blogger in the wine world, and as one teaching at a college in wine’s sphere, I need bring the wine element closer to me.  Not just making it my own, as they say, but writing from it, even to it.  I want my babies one day to read this and think something like, “Huh, that’s pretty smart what Dad did.” This writing father is a father who writes for his babies first, before anything.  I’m mindful of what I am.  Deeply mindful.  A writing father.  This morning instructed to look at what’s just off the bow, not what’s in the wake.