Creative Positivism, 22

In a mood today that I can’t shake, but wait…  I just told myself I couldn’t.  I know I can.  What’s stressing me, stresses so many out there… money, needing a new car, bills, having two kids, being an adjunct still after 10 years of instruction and there being no openings at local colleges…  Just need to breathe.  Like Dad has said, “You have to bring yourself to that place.” The place where you breathe and take a step back, and just calm down.  Like I told my friend Lainy the other day, I’m having to practice what I advocate.  And it’s not easy, I’ll concede.  What do I do for “lunch”?  Didn’t bring anything, and I don’t have time to go to that store down the Road…  Do I go for a walk?  Trying to be positive, but I’m definitely being challenged by the day, all parts of it.

Rubbing my eyes, deciding that I may let the students go tonight, go home and spend time with my babies.  That’ll help.  The writing father getting tired, that’s all this is, a bit of exhaustion maybe or just good ol’ stress.  Funny, as I talked to the students about stress last night, and if it’s in our heads or if it’s real.  Now, again, having to face what I discussed.  What’s causing the stress is real, but the stress is wholly in my head.  I have to keep telling myself, “There’s nothing I can do about it now.  I’m at work, I’m at work…” Need a walk in the vineyard, I think.