Walking and Driving to Autumn

Clocking in, 8:13AM, thirteen past when I wanted.  Consolidating today, and no run, so I have at least three hours here in the home office, should I choose.  I choose.  Wrote last night in the Composition Book, while the students were doing something (think the peer-review of each others’ first two paragraphs, of essay 1, draft of which is due today.. shit, have to prep rubric):  “If the glass in front of you is half-empty, fill it or go get yourself a full one. Stop the fuss.” And that means me, too.  No more grievance, no negativity obviously, and only assurance that this is where I’m meant to be, writing, at the laptop with coffee, Comp Book page exposed.  MY lifestyle, a writing father, teacher.  But not runner, today.  Desktop, again a mess.  That too, today, addressed.

Hutcherson in his swinging rotation.  Coffee starting to work, a bit slowly, but then I’ve only taken a couple sips…  Through this morning’s thousand, I’ll be typing notes for tonight’s meeting—

1 – Rough draft:  Coherence is the goal; togetherness and, yes, “flow”…

Have a lot to cover as well with Plath.  May cruise over to bookstore and get a new copy of her journal entries, as the one I have now I’ve been using since, well, ’08 is the year I want to say.  And, 8 years forward, time for a new one.

2 – Write a new YOU with every paper— new idea, new strength, new reaches.

Received a message from a student this morning, one of the stronger presences in the small 100 group.  That had me motivated, has me motivated, but I still feel sluggish.  Did when I woke.  Little Emma this morning, waking us at 3 for food.  Want to spend more time with my babies, but how?  Have to consolidate everything into the bottle (blog), and this home office.  Everything.  Took one pic of Emma this morning, one I can keep looking at through the day, something I did yesterday and boy did it help.  Agglomeration of more visions and thoughts to execute this morning, before having to get the babies later.. blog, selling, “lifestyle”, speaking vs. lecturing vs. teaching vs. appearing…

3 – Read aloud.  To yourself.  To us.  To me.  To everyone.

Driving back from sbux, I thought about one thing, having one thing, one aim for the day.  The word that most effectively and electrically accosted me, though encouragingly, was ‘centralize’, and centrality.  Then another, ‘simplicity’, of course then thinking of William Zinsser’s “Simplicity”, something I’ve taught for years and did again this Summer.  Cut away excess.  Or like I said the other day, “Just start killing shit.” All other blogs today, dead.  Everything on this desk, OFF.  Just removed a few things.. feel better.

4- SIMPLIFY, CONSOLIDATE, CENTRALIZE …  And not just with writing.

Simplicity, why don’t more of us embrace it?  Why do we always want to take on more, more?  And when we do, the extra we assume we shortly thereafter neglect, forgetting we took it on or complain about not having enough time to it tend.  WHY?  And I’m directing this toward myself, mostly.  Still trying to figure how certain realities in my reality and the collective reality function—

Short restroom break, then back to desk, all cleared off.  See how long I keep this top liberated from clutter and, just, shit I accumulate over the week, weeks.  So annoying, clutter, and that “stuff”.  No more.  No more of MORE.  But then I do think of taking on more, but in a different way—  What else can I get out of this morning, this quiet in the house which becomes more rare as Ms. Austen and little Kerouac grow.  And they grow so quick, so quick…  I remember when Emma hated that jumping toy she was in this morning, being uncomfortable and too small to use it for what it’s meant.  But now, she loves it, and I can already see she won’t be a fit for it for long.  I need to work quicker, with my projects, and take on no more new efforts or ideas— in fact, all ideas will from here on be logged in the Carpe journals.  Haven’t used it in a while and it was a gift from Mom and Dad, always have it with me in my backpack (also a gift from my archetypically altruistic ‘rents), but just haven’t given it any attention, or “content”, of late.  Well, that’s changing.  I’ll take it out of the pack but not set it on this desktop.  No way.—  Soon I say that I write today’s idea, and set it on desk, then saying “Oh shit!”, and putting it atop the Comp Book on the floor.

Now the coffee’s really working.  Time, only 8:45, and the calm but pivotal buoyancy about me become visible, and electric.  Listen to the bass and piano, and now light brushing of hi hats…  “Estate” by Bill Mays Trio.  Don’t think I’ve heard this track before.  But I’m listening, and seeing Madrid.  Madrid is just over there.  That’s where I’ll land when I reach Spain.  Drive around for a week.  Only a week.  Have to work fiercely in that time to gather what I need for a piece— essay on traveling to Spain, or an essay on a writer in Spain.  Don’t know.  Have to see what the stage suggests.  I will be there soon and only with a Composition Book— traveling more than lightly, to cover more ground and ingest more visuals and other sensory’s.

5 – Look around you:  Too many times the answer is right in front of your face.  For whatever reason.  Even though you may think nothing around you has anything to do with what you’re writing, you may be surprised.  Just look around.  This could be one of those times.

How did this receipt, crumbled and disfigured, wind up on my desk?  Must have fallen out of the Carpe journal.  Not so quick to pick it up and crumble it further, just throw it away, I look at it.  What does this symbol suggest… emblematic of what?  Money, always a source of stress for me and so many others.  With Friday’s two checks, one from Dutcher and other from JC, I’ll have them both be a amalgamated project, monitoring not just where money goes and what bills are paid when, but exactly what I spend.  Like this morning, $2.55, for coffee.  Where did I get the argent (money, Fr.) come from?  This purchase, loose change, all, from backpack.  I will track where every goddamn penny goes.  Part of this “lifestyle” layer or fashionable facet to my blog (if you could call it “fashionable”), is that I want to develop a fine and fixated prowess with finance…  Looking at the bottom of my business plan, it reading “property”, as in to buy, sell, invest, I need start now, with Friday’s two checks.  AND, sell writings.  One aim for today, my yay-saying pulses, or quakes— huh, ‘yay-say quake’… that could work, that’s catchy, right?  And I’m not writing these like I have all the answers or even ANY answers, I’m sharing what I learn about life as I learn it.

6 – Share what you learn as you learn it, help others…

(7/6/16)