With a glass of the cuvée from ’12, the one I made. Tomorrow, Day 4 at Arista, and already, again, I’m thinking of Pinot or Zin I want to make.. thinking Pinot, try something new, and like our wine, the Longbow, the grape’s hard to master and I salivate at the chance of challenge. 9:22 now, still feeling the 6.2 from earlier but not as much as I expected, actually most of the run’s ripples wore off at about 2PM, or right before 3. Had a guest today, doctorate from Stanford, Humanities, had to be message from me, and I haven’t touched my writing sample– no, my ARTICLE, not just some paper I’m forcing for the app– been days. But that stops now, tomorrow as well, will bring that old Comp Book I found and designated for the project and other research, tomorrow, work when it’s slow, but I have to force Self to transfer notes or the dream of m e again living a student dies.
For some reason, or in different strains of the above light, the wine looks darker, more gothic than it has in past– more ‘Grim’, and my meaning of grim… I’ll bring ‘Feast’, for morrow’s day, already know what I want to focus on in terms of Hem’s convictions and exploration of thought– want to get across to readers of my position that Grim is not just something to entertain but a key to furthered conception and grip on American authors.. especially the five cited (Kerouac, Plath, Hem, Poe, Dickinson). Just typed a couple sentences in the document but I’m not sure I like them– Wine lower in glass and me with more thoughts. Tomorrow morning taking little Kerouac to school then rush back home to put in 500 words in ‘Grim’ paper– or position– or whatever I want to call it tomorrow morning, with my coffee. And the concept of American, and “Gorgeous” as I say in the title, or the working title..
I want to encourage visibility for readers, show them what to look for, or one dimension to seriously and sincerely embrace with certain authors. For Tuesday’s lectures, I’ll have every 5 minutes planned, and lecture nearly every minute of each class. And I think of the GRE, have to get over my mental block of that leviathan.. just keep practicing, consider myself smarter, and I am.. I AM! (affirmation for night..). Hope I’m not coming across mawkishly, but I am telling what’s about my sight and visions. So now, to journal, handwrite, just note, and freely.. two years from now, this very time, day, I’ll be 37, and on some campus (sanguine for Stanford). Keep building my case, like these lawyers that spend YEARS building their argument before that first court date.
The night now, calming, and this wine I made over two years ago, telling me to slow, relax, stop writing and enjoy my night. “Start tomorrow,” it orders. Need to fins some new critical article for my case.. my case.. Grim is not just some etymological maneuvering, it’s an invite for new consideration of authorial identity… Time to research– but not tonight…. Tomorrow.