2/21/15: Awake and already

mindful of time.  Yes I have more than enough clockspace to write what I want and have some bracket of accomplishment or usefulness, or efficiency this morning, but I’m mindful of it, the clock, and I stress a bit, feel the anxiety, have a list going in head of what I need to do as I have to be on H Square early this morning, a bit.  So I had two cups of coffee which contributed to agility and the usefulness aforementioned but I develop a sluggy syndrome in that the worry itself slows me, how postmodern I say to myself.  Then I factor what I need get done for class, Tuesday, and the letter to my friend Ashley I still have yet to write (and I don’t know if her name is spelled ‘Ashley’ or ‘Ashlee’, I’ve spelled it both).  8:42.. quick shower, pack bag, go.  And… go!  Good honest work will save me and get me to where I need be, in my own office.  Upstairs looking for something, in that hell of a hole of a closet of mind again pushes me, tells me to get on it!  Get your office!  Promote the blog more!  And I will, especially on the Square.

Kept the window up, from the Stanford site, about the young female students that landed a grant to go explore Alaska’s old mining territory.  I want such trails and treks, even if at times it’s a trudge.  Everything starts at the Square for me, I now know.. I need to get to the Square!  Shower pack go.  Don’t forget lunch in fridge, and don’t forget what you printed (app for…).  Help Alice by cleaning a bit before I go, more tasks more items more stress.  I love it!  I’ll use it!  I’ll be emboldened by it!  Write from it!  Look at me go, this morning!  Thinking I should leave the laptop here but then I think how wonderful it’d be to type on the corner where the Oakville market is, watch people pass, listen to their conversations, see the spirit of my black coffee climb the nonvisible aircurves, to look down from above the historic structures around me– see?  I’m not even on the Square and it impacts, has its ‘impression’– which is something I noted yesterday while in the tasting room, one of the only notes I rushed, for the PhD sample, and just an independent paper I want to write and topic I want to grow.. the students will benefit from my study, studies, new etymological echoes and throws.  8:49, and why am I still writing I ask myself but no reply and I don’t expect one in the shape, the Literary Condition I’m in, very much marathoning through my sentiments and inner sensibility, seeing pages be printed and me reading them– shit!  The poetry reading!  Have to find one!  Thinking the Redwood Café, but I think that’s Thursday 1 of every month.  Can’t wait that long.. so what then.  Visions and images rushing past me like speeding college students down East Cotati, I slow and day start, now, promise, movement…..