DAY 42: Tuesday 12/23/14

Called in, just a bit ago while I was in car with my starbucks, after just ordering it.  Know I should capitalize the company name but I’m not in the mood to give any corporation elevation.  This morning had the thought of sending a resumé somewhere, to a wine/spirits distribution company, but what would that do?  Just keep me in the order den, the corporate circle and rotation.. this morning, I SEEK inspiration to push me along farther to the New Mike and to live the quality of story I envision, the image, the ME I need to be.  Outside the man mows, just one, no crew that I can see today.  I become unsettled and irked with the noise but I shouldn’t.  I haven’t a right, and I think “How far away am I from doing something like that?” What I mean to say is, how safe are my jobs?  The wine industry spits you out if there’s even a slight revenue fear or budget knot, and the adjuncting, well…  You know that story and how I feel and where I fit.

My narrative this morning is one of rebuild, plan, the wartime brainstormings necessary for advance.  I break open the copy of the NYT that I bought the other day, Sunday, before work.. looking…  So much in the world happening, that I could report, that I could convey facts on, REAL objective yet creative and magnetic journalism readers haven’t yet read.  Don’t mistake, the NYT authors are of an atmosphere and cosmological corner that I can’t even begin to critique or rubricate.  I’m simply saying I have something, something to offer readers.  Reading, just as Capote did before writing ‘Cold Blood’…  Cuba, North Korea, the officers killed in Brooklyn…  And I’m stuck here–  NO!  None of that pessimism today, Professor!  Think.. what’s your beat?  Politics? [Still haven’t heard back from sister-in-law.]  Certainly not economics…  ART?  An obvious option for someone like me.

I return from a rummage through the NYT columns and dynamics and varied voices and I notice the metering of each columnist is different, distinct, illustrative in its own stance.  Then I think to myself: “If I’m to pick up a paper and just jump to one section what would it be?” I guess Arts & Leisure, first, then Politics.  Can I blend them? Duh…  Look at John Stewart, or Steven Colbert.  Interesting.. a story about a ‘real life Rambo’ arrested in Thailand, now facing life in prison for being a hired killer.  Oh, he managed a team of assassins all about the globe, NYT writer Alan Feuer reports.  Interesting, and this is what would be made into a movie or some TV series or something.. I just find the workings of Joseph Hunter [suspect] interesting, once serving as a sniper in special forces, serving and protecting his country, to this.  What clicked?  What switched?  And now that he’s been extradited, what’s the next step?  Well, obviously life in incarceration but what else?  What does he plan to do while locked up?  What will he do and how will he cope?  I’m not sympathetic to a killer by any means I’m simply in wonder as to what sprees through a character’s head, a character like this, once they’re caught.  How loud does their adrenalin thunder?  And.. lastly…  Do they have regrets, strong remorse or contrition aches as the cuffs are attached in curt clasp?

9:29AM.  Feeling a bit tired but the mocha will cure that I’m sure.  Going to the Arts section…  Now Travel, again reminding the writer there’s eminent amount of Life this penner hasn’t seen; towns, roads, le peuple, sky and air and cafés.. everything.  No I don’t want to be a travel writer, I’m just a writer who needs travel to taunt the writing–  I open the section [Travel], and the Book Review insert falls out.  Message?