10/1/14 journal excerpt…

Taking my time with the Spring ’14 adds to the novel.  Don’t want to rush anything.  classes this morning.. eh.  Not as lively as I would have hoped.  Just ran into the FT-er that’ll be evaluating me.  He’s teaching 8 classes this term after picking up some sections from another FT-er who went out on disability.  EIGHT.  Would I rather do that kind of load or work in the industry longer?  Eh…

My mind is blocking me from whoso, and I don’t know why, it’s only letting me write freely in this journal.– Tried working on the lit mag of mine, but am having spacing issues with the computer.  I hate technology.  Why do I want to do this stupid lit mag anyway, why not stick to novels, I mean that’s what I really want to write anyway, I want to be known as a novelist, one with novelizing ideas and notions and entertainments.  My story, someone just wanting to teach, talk about literature, write about it– the classroom, the students of course, and all involved.. but right now this fucking device is holding me back.. I have to calm, and I need more coffee, I’ll pick some up on the way to campus.  Let me try and fool with this program again…  Okay I think I fixed it, I think, now I need to contribute more material.. and I need to release it, sell for $5 a pop, 20pp.  That’s fair, right?  I should contact my writing friend, Amber, as she said in one of her flawlessly sword-sharp letters that she had material to contribute.. now no more second-guessing Self, Mike!  Just write and release!  Took some notes in class for a piece for whoso, but I haven’t decided what to do with it yet.  12:55, I’ll give mySelf a couple more minutes to write.  15 total.  Obviously no students will be coming to this office hour, which saddens me– one thing, or aspect that separates me as a teacher is that I’m ALWAYS here, and always in constant communication with them, or I try.

1:07, leaving in 3.. have to stop by the mail room really quick, and I mean quick.. need to get on the Road, get something in my stomach and head to base campus, or ‘the mainland’ as I used to call it.  The drive this morning, still thinking about it– the lack of light then sudden sun voice.  And the jazz and how it paired with the luminosity of those earliest hours.. A colleague just printed the SSU cred info after I asked her a question about teaching at the high school level with a master’s.. she mentioned subbing and that’s she done that, and the record you can build by doing so, just as Alice did at the grammar school level.  I see my plan thickening, and intensifying in order and voice.  All will soon change for me, my topic: teaching, and how I develop the story and let myself develop with it.

EIGHT classes–  I wouldn’t survive, or maybe I would.  I’ve done seven before, in Fall 2007.. what’s one more?