Filled Out

A professor down the hall, talking about chimichangas with a student.  Either way, I’m in one of the adjunct offices, here in Petaluma.  Campus, all but deserted.  This floor, not as quiet as that day I came in for part of my 5,000 daily words [the day classes weren’t being held, for teacher in-service/Flex activities], but close.

Lowered shade, so no glare on screen.  Much better, and no obnoxious heat at six.  Was thinking again about writing, teaching, being a student (again).  Yes, the entertainment of a doctorate.  You know what…  Why not?  One life, why not do what I want, or even slightly fancy.  Used to fear the GRE.. I’m confronting it.  Gathering rec letters.. yes a pain, but I’ll confront that as well.  I want to feel what my students (mainly those in the English 5 section) do; the rush of an application deadline.. the wait for acceptance.  NOTHING in the wine industry could give me that.  With I would have asked for that lady’s information yesterday (Emily, the Stanford Grad student).  My first step.. writing.  Going to write my personal statement, personal history statement, then a couple papers; thinking one on Poe, the other on Plath.  I’ll cap Self at 5 pgs for each (double-spaced.. again, I’m acting as student).  The programs, or program models, I’m eying currently are UC Davis’ and Stanford’s.  Don’t want to elaborate too much, as I’m fearing that’ll only hex Self.  Need this to happen, eventually.  Want my character to be one my son respects, wants to either emulate or expand upon; providing foundation for a child goes much beyond the mere monetary, I think…

11:21am–  This mocha, not as structured or engaging as others I’ve enjoyed.  Ordering books for next semester, when I get to main campus.  Should I go to café?  Quite surprised I didn’t go straight there from home, but I wanted to research those programs, be in an academic setting rather than one with too much new motivating images.

Wonder how many will be in class.  Hoping most of them.  Haven’t received any notices through email, of someone not attending.  So I’m betting on full house.  Same with 1A.  Although, a friend just told me that her fiancé’s class was nearly empty, yesterday.  And that’s an evening session.  So we’ll see.

Mexican food sounds amazing right now.  No usual blueberry scone, or croissant, this morning.  So I’m a bit in growl.  Where would I go?  Trying to think..  Could get a burrito on main campus.  That always works.  My materials for a possible application, going to be hand-written first.  In fact, I’ll use a Comp Book for all doctoral writing– like it’s a class (which it is, the application, more or less…  Well, that’s the lens I’m using, that it’s an assignment).  Actually, no…  I’ll buy a legal pad from the bookstore here.  Drat, that means I have to leave this office.  I’ll get it on the way to class.  Going to start with Hemingway, use his letters.  Again, what happenstance that Mom gifted me those books when she did.


The other night, Saturday: while fun, was Literarily useless; I can’t write, react to, what I can’t remember, and what I can’t accurately remember.  Writers don’t do that, go on such outings.  Wine industry people do.  But WE, writers/scholars, don’t.