Smooth jazz seems to be my new go-to in the morning. Can’t break that consistency and why would I if it works, if it contributes to my zen and A.M. peace. One list, then another. Seeing everything in front of me, paginated, tangible and real.
Obsessing over certain realms and conversations, people. Tell myself to stop but much easier said than practiced. Oh well…
Calming. Making self be so. Saw my neighbor walk by with her daughter, holding coffee cups from Noto. Tempted, but not going. Saving.. monies for the week ahead, small projects.
Reconnecting with an old friend last night over text. Haven’t spoken to her in….. I don’t even know. Middle school? No joke. A surprise, startling, all positive. Teaches me more about time and how it passes but will come back in some ways. Never had something like that happen before.
Tired. Maybe I will walk to get that latte. Or just work through it. The latter. Of course.
Espresso gone. My thoughts are everywhere, emotions more or less settled, contained. What’s next…
2:19
Thinking again about small business, one person I met yesterday winery saying she wants to someday have a wine shop. Wine and possibilities, philosophies, poetry in the moment and the seemingly simplistic and one-dimensional whatever’s in front of you. Building on this, my wine Road, wine music.. everything in its arrangement and architecture. Ending one story to start another.
Still a little groggy, trying to wake again. Like this morning on a diagonal repeat. Trying to singularize.. but why do I keep using that word. Just DO, actualize. Week from today another story starting. One sales-centered, but not at all of the sales arm. Today and tomorrow and Wednesday, all mine. Have to produce something in these three days that will promise something deliciously postmodern. Consequence of overthought, what a shock.
HAPPINESS – new definition and manuscript. Right here. Already done, landed. And how, because of turns I’ve decide to take. So here I am, at the desk, one less laptop. Wow… feels so odd. Doesn’t necessarily impart anxiety, just surprise.
Wondering what I do now…. Deposit that check, go see if there’ another in the mailbox… wouldn’t say I’m bored or indecisive, just hovering. Make something happen, Mike… come on.
Get a shirt on, change…. What am I wearing tonight, shit haven’t even thought about that. Again overthought… started new ideas list. Not sure I’ll use it often or at all, but here it is…. “WHAT DO I WRITE ABOUT.” Name of the list. One of the first points, “Me and my emotions at the time – psych of SELF”. And I ask myself what am I feeling right now – definitely not anger or sadness, I wouldn’t categorize it as happy, but composed – calmness of character with the approaching new story.
Idea of consolidation, the oneness of this new ME. Musical, grateful. Only invitation, no cessation. More, the About EVERYTHING Beat…. Love.