and the two deals I have forecast for this month – one is a long shot, and the other is puny.  This stress isn’t healthy, and the constant rationale of “It’s a tough time right now…” isn’t helping.

Decide something.  But what….  Seriously at a loss.  Call at 1 today which should close the small deal, but who knows.  Have some calls lined up for day, emails, going out to territory for a bit, see what that does.

Nerves everywhere, already needing a break from the office.  Thinking about walking to Noto, getting a latte, doing something for myself that’ll make me smile and kill some of this stress, make me forget about quota and sales…

8:47…. Latte, definitely.  Wallet in kitchen drawer with keys.  Up the stairs again.  No eye-roll ‘cause it’s not the third floor.  Listen to me…. Old and cranky.  Rubbing the obsidian turtle, hoping it does something….  Scared of the year’s remainder and sales.  Idea and I’m running with it.  Patience…. I hate waiting.

Back.  Love that walk.  This town.  Happiness, part of my definition.  What I hold to.