Struggling to wake. Really feeling yesterday’s run.

This never used to happen after only 5 miles.  Going out today again just  going to do the same route.

Just a spun and unexpected thought – Listen to books while driving, rather than music.  This will not in any way be easy as I’m with music always, in whatever I do.  I look for music in everything. So then why not the read prose or verse from certain authors.  I’ll give it a try, see if it sticks.

In office.  At desk.  This next week I would say just building for next.  Not likely a contract will come in.  I’m of course going to try, but I’m not expecting anything.

My head this morning, like a sea slapping agains a concert wall that supports the building above it.  Can’t focus or really fixate on anything.  Stop then, It ell myself.  Slow.  Listing everything I want done, and I hate making lists like this but I’m trying it today, just like the books on tape.

And I’m waking finally.  7:49.  Only Jackie up.  Both of the big kids went to bed unusually late but we figured since it’s their holiday week ahead, this being part of it – the weekend, then what the hay…

Need more caffeine.

Played some Mario with Jack, now not eh couch watching him, somewhat.  Emma comes downstairs and goes right to her Lego toys, the one Jack put together for her last night.  She had a plan and followed through.. that was her priority, her only aim, and she fulfilled.  She uses voices having them communicate, the little characters, then makes some other sounds with them moving around.

More caffeine?  No.  Now feeling those trembles and jitters.  An off-morning for a writer, a writer with kids.  Studying Emma’s commitment, and parallel it with my projects, my business.. where I should invest certain monies.  No need to elaborate but easy answers and solutions sprout in my synapses.

Looking for new music today.  Hip-hop instrumentals, electronica…. Trip-hop.  Ambient or slight/light ambient.  Anything Thievery or Tyco-like.  Just more music.  Anything that’ll wake me more.  Went to bed too late last night, watching that goddamn show Queen’s Gambit.  Everyone around me raving about it and in the first couple episodes I just didn’t see it, and thought it had been done before the whole child chess prodigy thing.  But in episode 3 or 4 had me connected to the text.  The kids playing is music and me finding some narrative in their frantic pushing of buttons, reminding me of chess, strategy, and how often strategy is what obstructs especially when we become excessively addicted to it.  Music should be free as should the response to what’s around.