A lego piece, a coin from another country, pacifier, kid book, and a lighter…

Actually made self sit to write.  Huh….  Kids in bed, little Henry done with his protest of starvation and crippling exhaustion.  And I’m here, here at the island counter in the kitchen, less than two hours after classes wrapped.  I guess I’m proud of self for holding class tonight.  Was not in any kind of mood to teach. I kept thinking about it, all day, on my run which only yielded 3 miles.  Over and over thought “how do I make it something different?” What did I do?  Just talk to them.  I prepped some notes but not many.  Touched on what I wanted to, like the essay form and how Irby defies it while making it something new. Irby taught me to do what I did tonight, I guess….  No, she did.  And she keeps teaching me or reminding me of actions, movements, whatever I’m capable of.

Just had a thought, looking over at the glass of Arista Sonoma Coast Pinot I just poured, “What if I wrote all night?” But how the fuck is that possible.  I have NO coffee in this house, NONE.  Why do I let that happen?  All the money I have saved up to start some new website or get a camera, or PS4 or whatever, or the 5 that’s coming out soon but I don’t really game so I don’t care that much…. I should buy so much goddamn coffee my neighbors think I’m trying to end my life when they see me somehow fitting it all in the house.  Tomorrow, on the way back from taking the kids to Oakmoont.  Stop at the Calistoga Road Safeway, and buy as much coffee you can.  No budget.  Fuck budgets.  There is no limit to what I will drop on coffee.  Oh my sexy, sexy coffee….