Driving down to Novato. Mood from yesterday persists but loses its grip. Pressuring self to convert, to transact, to do something. Feel like I’m in a holding pattern or some tireless circle. I don’t know. But today is new, newer. Keep moving, keep speaking I tell myself. Note everything. Aims for day—take self out to lunch, enjoy conversations with business owners, learn about business today. Anything. Any dimension to business, to growth, to autonomy.
What do I write at the day’s lit thread? Learn. From everything. Talking self into a different direction and pace, vocal color and composition today. So… the drive, my first stop. Targeted. Had a thought of being better at this than anyone in the department, just a few minutes ago. Write how I got there. This is all attitude, all perspective, all how you see something. Sipping coffee and somewhat enjoying my free-flying prose. Sal says he vaguely planned but never took off. I’m choosing to take off, not worry about missteps and follies. This third day is about the motion beginning. The story starting.
Forgetting yesterday. And yesterday was only what it was ‘cause I chose to see it that way. No one said anything to me, I didn’t get “in trouble”, wasn’t “talked to”. Nothing like that. I chose my estimation of it. Okay… so, today, change. Worried about nothing, writing everything. Quite looking forward to the drive, if you must know.
Returning to certain remarks and suggestions I’ve made in the classroom. About inward jots being invaluable. Need to write to self more. And I am. Is that what this is? I don’t know. Looking at clock and soon have to leave. Keep it simple, telling self. Break the aim down to its most basic composition. Talk, land appointment, go from there. That’s it. That simple. Blogging and writing, making money from that…. Same thing. Set appointments, have conversations. Conversations and appointments, learning that’s what I should do, and that’s all.
Going to kill my wine days, I’m thinking. What is it doing, I see this third day. Nothing. Not that much. And I want the distance from wine to get closer to its story. Be more like the tourists with their wonder, with their impression and absorption of everything around them. When they walk into the Lancaster cave and that awe they vocalize. I want that. I want to write that, and truthfully. I want to be wrapped in madness with wine, not pouring from behind a bar anymore. No more vague planning. Time to take off.
Hungry, but not yet in the mood to eat. A little fasting to start day. Maybe another cup for the ride down. Remember, if you’re reading this and in sales, or just starting out in some new sales position—conversation, calendar. That’s all this is. Anything else is minutia, really. It’s just a layer. Everything is. Product specificities, install dates, contract conditions…. Doesn’t matter. The conversation and the calendar are all that have immediate or even distant importance.
8/6/19