empirical routine. Always asking students about their writing and reading habits and now this morning I wonder how well I know. My own. Wrote sentence in Happiness Project journal, took a couple pictures, and I’m off. 4 shot mocha, right. I mean business, the most loud and quickest, non-revising business this morning. Felt self getting stressed about papers I have to grade and when am I going to do them, literally seeing self stall in car after I parked, and I told myself to just KEEP MOVING. So here I am, moving. Keep the self moving. The only option if we’re to get what we want. Colleague the other day stopping me, mid-talk, politely mind you, to let me know I was using ‘I’ a lot in what I was vocalizing. Part of me internally sent self to defensive direction and thought positioning, but then I stopped self. Listen, I said. I did. Realizing I’m doing it again, I reach to readers, to YOU… listen to those around you. What you observe and what’s around you immediately is meant to educate. Another lesson from the tech office, from Sonic as an idea and place where I work, do business, build my business and self, write from the break room or field.
08:22. Having Mondays off, much to a writer’s delight and benefit. I have to write in the ‘I’ of it all this morning, as this writer considers further his routine, what he does for his blog and pages, what he wants. Should I teach next semester? Was able to sign onto one class, but I’m wondering if I should even do that. How much will that take from Sonic, from my writing? As I see it, I have till semester’s end to make these semesters end. To only have this to do. And, of course, business efforts and projects creative. Took Sonic, or supersonic, journal out. Wrote something. Nevermind what. I’m here writing. Refusing to stop moving. But I need set tangible aims, goals I can check off as so many do, as Tasha does on her legal pad. Have always admired people who could do that, make it that simple. I am just bewitched by it… how do they do that? How does she? Literarily every morning. I just did, well tried. Three goals. Easy and attainable. Written in journal so it has to happen, right?
Think this could be a routine…. Happiness sentence, type, then journal. OR maybe it’s just an idea, something I’m working on. But isn’t everything? Writing about writing in a journal, about keeping one, about what a journal should do for the one keeping it. Lessons in the morning and how I react to it, to the people around me in this Yulupa Starbucks. When was the last time I wrote here, and why did I feel it so crucial to write here this morning? What brought me here aside from the wheels, the engine, turn of a key (even though no key was in any way turned)?
Not liking what I’m writing—
“Start a fucking novel.” I just wrote. WHAT? What made you write that? A novel? WE, have to set realistic goals here, Mike. And I’m not trying to be instructional or even so much inclusive as with ‘we’ utterances. A novel? About what? The wine industry? Wine? Being an adjunct? Working in a tech office from the wine and teaching pews? What if I wrote one. A novel. And it took me somewhere… wait, why DID I just write that in the journal? This goddamn journal and my supersonic writings, getting me into trouble.