9/20/18

Could it be the last time I say down to type was three days ago?  Yes that makes sense, with all the trips I’ve been making to the city for work, no longer having that hour to type in the Sonic break room.  Me, now, in the conference room in the English Department and I feel funny writing. Probably ‘cause I just had dinner again even after I said I wouldn’t, at La Texanita.  Something about that place, I swear.  I feel like I’m distant, away, vacation or just on some Road travel.  Speaking of, ‘bout to give my last talk on Kerouac’s Road.  I have more or less a plan, but not really.  Not at all.  More in the mood to teach than I was on Thursday, definitively.  Already wine thoughts find my head and me in this chair where I’m supposed to be planning.  How will I feel next semester, when I have no sections to teach?  Not sure… I can see there being a bit of sullen bend, but it’s for the better, for me, family, advancing in my writings on tech and life, work, business.  The office new’s given me more than I thought I’d receive in this timed life.  And now, staring at my notes, trying to shed this oddity in the writing act like some old skin.  Skin and sense, through consistency for which I hold no interest.  What else can I “teach”, tonight. Go word by word.  Be in the room with the author, Kerouac.  Need to underline more… have more prepped thoughts.  But then I think I’m so good in the moment I don’t need to plan or write anything out.  That’s the problem!  I say to myself…. Any chance you have to write you should, just as the people in the office are of the habit and forward, entrenched decision to write EVERYTHING down.  Every conversation, every idea, every question, every in-the-moment musing or anything.

Bought an iced coffee in the snack shop, at the office, but left on desk.  Shit, I think.. should I go get some now, in the caf’?  Might keep me up a bit, tonight.  So what, I think. Then I write, till 3 or something then take a nap.  Yes… soon’s I’m done with this entry or revival post or whatever it’s called then I’ll go there, across the street to where I know there’s coffee.  I want to approach the room with energy, the same energy I had this morning in the meeting with T, which we yesterday planned just upon my return from SF.  I gently coerced her to title the meeting the “Beatnik Meeting”.  Exchanging ideas wildly over coffee.  We had that meeting this morning and I was all fire, all storm and storm surge, deluge and decisions, while as well learning from her words.  Again, what happens when no classes at JC?  Then I have all classes on blog.  Easy.  There.  DONE. 

18:30, now.  Coffee, coffee.  Only thing I can think of, see self sipping.  Other than the eventual wine, tonight.