I said the other morning. Change direction, re-invent. Always. Whenever. Of course, you don’t want to always be re-inventing, you do want to decide on a dash of some kind, some singularity, but even in that you can always actuate new methods and approaches. I’m seeing more possibilities with literature and how to approach, with simple quotes like the Tolstoy utterance of ‘If you want be happy, be.’ to Plath’s ‘I am I am I am.’ The authors are telling us to keep going. Certain writers and literary mammoths have instruction for us, and its beneficial, and perhaps in some cases life-changing and saving, to listen.
So often I see students act as if in their head ping-pongs the dilemma and anxiety of “What do I do, what do I do?” Look at where you are, what you already have— You’re a student, studying, taking notes in your classes, writing, looking to transfer or settle on some major or center of study. Start there. Often, I have to remind myself of precisely the same. If where you are and what you’re doing doesn’t appease you for some reason, then change the arrangement of ingredients a bit. OR, change the ingredients altogether. Re-write! Always reserve the right to re-write.
No coffee in this house and I instinctively want to complain, settle that today’s going to be a bad day… mope, mope, woe, woe. When done with this entry I’m rising to get coffee, get in shower, and going to command today to do whatever I wish it to. I’m going to re-write the day’s day before IT starts writing. Going to walk the vineyard, first thing. Let the buddings tell me something, or just listen to the air whoosing over them. This morning and I are collaborating in teaching myself what I taught the other morning. Re-write. Forget yesterday if it wasn’t in your favor. You have today. You have right now. You have what you have, and that’s enough.
New stories, new challenges and directions, testing ourselves, daring ourselves to do something different. That’s where gems are hidden. In fact, they’re not hidden. They’re right there for appreciation and possession, in boasting sight.. we just have to grab them. Act outside our putrid normalities. Try new wildness, be crazy with out creations… just charge at whatever it is we want. And again, this is me talking to myself as much as I’m sharing an idea with you, reader. No mope. No woe. Not allowed. We have all we need to write the edition we want others to read.
Time for coffee. Then come home to ready to invade the day’s manuscript and write. Take notes as you go further into hours of this month’s first day. Told myself I’d be more evergreen with my writing, not cite time as much, but it’s April 1st. And there is no fooling around. Not today. Not ever with what I’m writing. And I’ll always be writing. When my book’s done, and I’m out there talking about it, you can expect ‘revision’ to be the first address. Don’t be so stubborn, don’t be so defeatist. If as a writer and reader of your own story you’re not enlightened or entertained, then re-write. Re-write everything if you have to. OR, just fucking start over. Write a new story! You’re the one writing it. Show onus, more ownership. I, like many, or even most, just want to be happy. So, I ‘be’.