Back on campus a bit early. Took power-nap at home, had a light lunch (breakfast sandwich, a healthy one, and some toast with p-nut butter). Have materials to hand back to 1A-ers.. drinking the second coffee I bought this morning, but I have a feeling I’ll need more. Think I know what I’m doing for class.. watching the Beloved film, or part of it, then touching base on their final projects.
Would love to wake tomorrow earlier than early… meditate then write, or write then meditate, exercise a bit, then go to Dutcher feeling superhuman. I did manage to stop at a vineyard on Piner, took 2 pics with camera, then I think 3 with phone. I’m in the conference room now— just spoke with another adjunct who does the same as me, back and forth between this and the wine world. But he seems more connected to this world, this department, the full-timers. Don’t think I could ever be like him, as I’m losing interest in this thing, the driving and the dealing with students that don’t do their work, interrupt discussions— I’m not myself right now, I feel. But I have this whole stack to get rid of.. graded stuff for the students. I’m gaining ground on these goddamn papers.
Looking at the pictures, or one of them: large piece of land next to vineyard, probably owners; with barn and other structures, rural, quiet, perfect for me; see myself sitting on the ground and leaning against the wall of that old white barn and just scribbling, noting whatever comes to mind or my minds, the multiple dimensional minds that leave me most of the time absent-minded. The writer overthinking, but seeing more in that photo— me waking early to just take a walk. By myself. Meditate, not write, just think and live, walk, feel what’s around me and under the stroller’s soles.