4/23. Came home to write. Needed complete quiet. No library ingredients. I’m not even playing music now. When home later from ‘100’, I’ll clear this desktop, thoroughly. My friend’s sister, preparing for world travel.. and she’s, what.. 17, 18? Think the latter. But either way, I reflect after the rough, erratic morning: no nap this afternoon. I’ll keep writing, consolidating everything. Finish this bloody novel, and the poem collection.
Brought my small mocha home from campus café. Sipping it now, as I calm down. Great session in ‘5‘ this morning, exploring character, narration.. the story itself. Really enjoying discussing the elements of story telling with them, telling their stories.
This quiet, dangerous. It’s going to be challenging getting to 100, leaving the peace here in my condo.
Mike took out his Composition book to write, closing the laptop. He needed more quiet, the buttons, his fingers slapping them became disruptive, frustrating in their own vein. “No wine, no beer,” he wrote. He wanted to see his character change.. was convinced he’d be the mightiest writer, possibly ever, is he stopped sipping for a bit. So, he’d try, he’d try… He packed, left for his next class. The nap.. might happen. He could only think of how lovely the pillow would feel– No, he ordered. “More coffee.”
Back from ‘100’ and getting Citti leftovers at winery. Just ate, now I’m very much in the mood for a nap, which is just what this writer feared. Should I have more coffee? Maybe I should relax, not OVERthink this, just let the story evolve, shape me as it wants.
Went to second poem in collection, ready to edit. But a nap sounds so much better. I’m walking away from this dilemma, letting Self not decide, but just live in moment– whatever that means. The semester, rushing to be done, without me. Why is it so vengeful this week?
4:58PM. Up from nap, about 30-some minutes ago, to an email from SCC [Solano] saying I’m not invited for a FT interview. Not sure what my mood is at this point, but like I said, I’m tired of being dependent on entities, and that includes the schools, community college system. Time for the writer to let go and be a true writer. Beat the beat– I’ll be writing till I’m asleep tonight, some time near 11AM. And I will be opening wine.. so what.
Cleaned my desk a little. Throwing everything away, all receipts that I don’t want. Yes, a couple I might want to hold on to, one could offer. But for bloody what?