13:42
Vacaville Peet’s.
Waiting for the Nurse. Two days till I’m 45.
Jesus…. Can barely bring myself to write that, to be honest.
Writing outside, and sipping an iced coffee, something I’ve ordered before but not often. Trying to cut back on anything with dairy, as well as institute new habits, and maintain them till I’m gone.
>>>>>>>>
Storm here then not
Shadows but out, seeing
Pushing against me, but I dance
Location more loving, musical
Finally, home around me
No elevation in volume
Interpreting something newly, justified
No clot, only a safe sail
*****
Poem every day. Maybe first thing when I wake up. Seriously, every fucking day. If you miss a day okay whatever it happens, but that is law now…. A poem or verse every bloody day, morning first thing ideally.
This new project I started, essentially a lifelong letter to the Nurse, and like I told her I’ll post and release parts of it when ready. This needed to happen, this project. Writing effort and direction.
521 words written in new project, all of them sent to the Nurse over text. This is about her, I noted and messaged her. Being the strongest and healthiest draft of Mike Madigan character and story that I can.
Hearing Sedaris on the way over, the entire way over I might add, not a drop of music, helped. His struggles, and confessions and pains, the people in his life, what he’s been through and I think of all the fucking fortune I have in my life. Luck isn’t a word I like to use, but will here.
With tomorrow and this new story starting, I am going in as a writer I have NEVER been. Not just a new sales story, in fact I want to stop saying that. This is a growth invitation… a new book. Something for me and my kids, anyone in my life that I love to the degree I do the Nurse, or my parents, Chris or someone in that pew. Starting a new job is not how I look at this. In fact I refuse to… this is the writing prompt I have been waiting for, since, I don’t know. College, or maybe even before when in Mr. Sullivan’s Creative Writing class senior year.
Tomorrow is going to change everything.
I, am going to change EVERYTHING.
As an AE, I am About EVERYTHING. No self-doubt, no pessimism, no second-guessing of SELF.
Only confidence and commitment, assurance and knowledge of what is going to materialize as I, and no one else, will be writing it that way.