Kettle Dive

Pausing, the racing…. 12:47, thirteen minutes till call with the big Berkeley prospect.  If they don’t submit their contract almost immediately after the call I’m mentally divorcing, moving on.

Have a couple check-in calls to make after…. Had a Subway sandwich for lunch, what a waste of $8.99.  Or, maybe not that bad.  Not hungry anymore and kept it under $9.  If I go again, I’ll order the small option.  Why am I going on this long about lunch, about food… boring on top of boring, topped with a little guaranteed boredom.


Call didn’t really do much so I’m moving on and into the day, in a different way.  Not sure what that is or what it means, but this is the Now-me.  Sipping coffee from break room, trying to pull self from this lull, this mood mud.  Don’t want to go for another drive, as the gas tank just never seems to be fun anymore or even half.  Too many drives… what can I say, I love the Road.  1:51pm, exploring my thoughts and thinking in this telecom/internet office.  Just remembered, oh shit…. Last night woke at 258am and wrote something in my phone, after being struck by an idea while washing hands and then walking back to bed and settling on pillow – “Me… Mastering my own mind.  War with indecision and giving into tempts.” Interesting.  I just remembered this note, that I took the minute or so to type it in the earliest of today’s life.

Sipping coffee again, and I’m stuck.  War with indecision, so go do something.  And I will, after this coffee.  Turned in a contract earlier today so don’t feel as bad about more or less taking the rest of the day.  Another sip, and I make another decision… no Fall classes.  Have just over a month to get things in such a place where I can give notice, and just write.