At least not now.  Sent some connection requests, and about to get into prospecting, canvassing, looking for businesses.  Where I see this going, I know exactly where then have no idea and the polarity and contradiction is loving me back with a formidable climate, climate shift.

More notes, more scribbles… less sentences.  Yes, I’m definitely quitting SRJC.  Need to consolidate, yes I’ve said that before over and over with a voluminous annoyance to self.  Listening to Coltrane, hungry.  The house, so quiet.  And the contrast yesterday, chaotic and immediate when they all came home in the early afternoon.  Henry having an accident and ruining a shirt or onesie whatever it was, then Jack being crazy and Emmie spilling the floss picks in the kitchen and telling me she wants a sparkling water and me replying AFTER YOU HELP ME.

Should I recharge my circuitry and battery, just lay down for a sec?  I realize it…. This placidity and calm complexion to room and house is the problem. I shouldn’t be here, I should be out.  Run cancelled… damnit.  Will ride bike for 45 minutes, then get out of house…. Go anywhere, maybe Healdsburg and have coffee, write and work.  Grounded in the AE story, shaping it as I need.  It’s not about what I sell, or what I speak, or how I communicate with clients and prospective partners or clients.  It’s about the characters… my Sales Engineer, the CEO, the Director, Sales Operations Manager, ME.

Blue Train, one of my favorite tracks.  Only 8:49, have the entire day… more than that, at least how I feel.  Feel a bit like Kerouac at Sur, in both ways – renewed then drained by the last year.  Trying to foist new conviction and certitude in my truest tune, now, in this chair.

Don’t rush into any actions or decisions, excavate the Now with more lens and temperament.