Felt like I was showing up for a fight, or the zoo, a fight with several animals at the zoo all versus me.  Entered, and no hell.  I felt disappointed, felt like laughing, about a lot including the SIP order.  There’s tons of people here, are they supposed to be.

I’m not making this political, I just don’t want to do it.  I’m tired of it, and it looks like I’m not the only one.  Already bored talking about it—  NO, writing it.  Again I’m putting covid on the page.  Well, it offers enough warrant to buy more wine, I’ll note.  My friend Taryn from Lancaster bringing by a case I bought today over the phone.  Last day open before getting furloughed, AGAIN.  Bought far more than I should have, but blame covid.  I am.  Or, thanking it.

Jack on couch behind me playing some game or watching a cartoon on the tablet my mom bought him, Emma in the other room playing with some Legos, Henry asleep in his little rocker next to tree.  Quiet, calm, relaxed… and during the day.  This is rare during the week.  In fact, no.  It doesn’t happen.

Had what I think was a double-espresso, didn’t measure and I’m still figuring out how to use the Nespresso Mom bought me.  Anyway I’m jittery, jittering, jitterbugging like my grandma said she used to do during the war.  Miss her stories.. wines last night putting time in my head and making me see time, in me and the kids.  Emmie turning 5 in 3 days, and Henry turning 3 months today…. What if I’d had these wines earlier in life, or later.  What would the then-Mike Madigan say, think, write, do…. How would I see wine.  In what way am I seeing wine, today?