Cleaning crew at house, I clean desk, laptops….

Try to get organized.  Waiting on a contract from yesterday.  Will call on new businesses today, look for IT and other potential partners.  What else can I do?

Tired this morning.  Downed a nitro coffee while driving kids.  About to make another cup.  Need to find a mask.  One of the N95’s my prison guard neighbor gave to me.  Funny when you’re in a day where that’s considered a normal, kind, thoughtful gesture… “Hey, do you want a N95?” He said.  “Wow, thanks man… that’s super nice of you…” I said, or something like that.

Noting how sick of the covid thing I’m getting.Can’t go here, can’t do this… this is risky, this is riskier… I can’t prospect in person, walk the streets, been like that since fucking March-something.  Enough, I’m starting to say to myself.  But, there’s the issue of Henry.  The newborn with lungs not fully formed.  I’d feel indescribably horrible and self-hating if anything happened to him because of me.  Won’t… just stay in the chair.

Supposed to call today to see if I get any classes for Spring 2021.  Really hoping I don’t.  Need to quit, consolidate my life to business and writing, blogging, tech, the startup notes and projects, ideations.

Have coffee.  9:11am.  What now.  Can’t call with the cleaning crew here.  Think businesses…. Anything you can find…..  Make prospecting a business, a story, a practice, a sense. Do it better than anyone else… pretend you’re selling wine, I tell myself.  I’m prospecting for new wine buyers, new list members.

Speaking of… I didn’t take notes on last night’s wine.  That weirdo blend I bought at Raley’s.  Saw it the last time I was there but didn’t get it.  Got another odd cuvée instead.  Was better than I thought it’d be frankly, last night’s bottle.  Red blend, with a little Riesling in it.  I remember seeing that and thinking, “Wow… great idea…” So I didn’t get it.  Walking past it yesterday while there getting snacks for kids and some sparkling apple cider also for Jack and Emma, I decided why not.

This laptop, underlining things it shouldn’t.  Is there a way to turn that off?  Don’t have time to figure it out….  #prospectesk, for prospecting, starting conversations… just focus on conversations, meeting people, no objective.  Don’t see it as prospecting.  Imagine myself teaching or offering ideas to future AE’s and AAE’s.  Thinking this is my “startup”.  Have to write out the whole thing… prospecting— first, don’t rush.  Don’t just go after anything and everything.  Decide what type of business, and by type I don’t necessarily mean industry.  Size of the business, is it service oriented or product oriented.  So then maybe yes, type of business.  Just know what you want, and be flexible.  Don’t be stubborn.  Don’t say to yourself, “I only do startups…” or “I only work with nonprofits and construction companies…” Pigeonholing is poison, self-poisoning, I’ve found.

Sipping coffee again.  I swear I’d be dead, a stiff blip of flesh if I didn’t have this in the cup.  Only wanting to write this morning, spend time with little growing Henry.  Should have taken more time, more of my leave.  I’m legally allowed 8 weeks, why the fuck did I come back after only 3.  Here I am… no sense worrying, or fretting, complaining or cursing.  Even writing about it.  Topic next….

Students and writing.  I’m just too old for this, what I’m doing right now, waiting for my call-in time to see if I get an assignment when I’m 85-90% sure I won’t get anything, as I have a full-time/real job and can only take night courses.  And it’s all online.  Not as much a fan of online instruction as I thought I’d be.  You know, I’m just done with it.  Teaching.  “Teaching”.  I’m too old to do the adjunct thing.  So I won’t.  I have other moves and motives, Roads.  That’s where I’ll go.  That’s where I am.  The rest of the semester will be a writing workshop, breaking from their curriculum coffin.  Prospecting in their own heads, for new pages.

There’s so much more I could be doing.