journal

Stopping for a second.  Learning a second ago there are close to NO offerings at night, for the JC, classes I might teach.  Honestly, frankly…. In all candor, I am fucking RELEIVED.  I’ve outgrown it, honestly.  Calling in, hoping there’s something left for me, an adjunct.  I’m 41, with three babies, and trying to build a business and a startup alongside other related projects.  I don’t have time for that.  The whole time in class last night thinking I need to do something else with the #professormikey project and narrative. 

I am… starting today.  Well, I have been, but it starts with notes.

One such:  The day is different.  Don’t force self, but rather frame self in different ways, day to day.  Play.. experiment and re-adjust, re-write.. set self up for new flights and sights.

Mood elevating this morning.  Thinking about my run.  Up the street, then back down and possibly cut over to Waltzer, go to Piner and run right.

Hear little Henry… going up….

Hungry, so he’s fed.  That simple.  Of course I see the suggestive symbol in the act and the being of Henry.  Wanting something, vocality, then acquiring.  I’ve noted this before to self, but he’s a strange prophet to me.  Of course that’s a bit hyperbolic, but a teacher surely.  Reminding me of simplicity, and if I want something, narrate to yourself and the audience, and it materializes.  If not on the first pass then one after, or another.

Going to make a call in a second, hopefully will lead to a contract.  Can’t force anything, I know.  Hold on….

Wanted to check the sales report.  Like a scoreboard, see where I an the other AEs are.  Rough year, definitely.  But there has to be some switch to flip or lever to pull, key to turn… door or window to open so that covid is not a factor.  But what is it.  What I’m trying to find…. Will let you know.