And I find myself stressing about work and not sure why. Why is my focus there? Well, because of how I am, and honestly it’s one of my better qualities I think. But also a hinder. I should be fully present, here, with my new son. And I am. Honestly I shouldn’t even be writing this. I should be paying more attention to him in his crib, listening to his mobile’s music, making his sounds, looking around and seeing what he can with his adjusting vision.
His music stops. Quiet. I’m being selfish. I don’t want his music, I want him… more of his little sounds, calls and grunts. Glad his weight is back up. Not quite at birth weight yet but getting there.
Everyone’s telling me to not worry about work. And I’m not really worried as much as I can’t turn off certain pedals in my story. Still have other projects to touch today… the wine blog shop, book, music and notes, writing about my run this morning which surprised me actually… 6.78 miles, 1 hour 2 minutes. Thousand words to that later. May take a nap.. or not. May have one of those nitros. Keep writing, keep working. If not for the AE story, for ME. Writing this… the magic of this meta. Father, again. 41 and with a newborn. Still a bit surreal but real enough to write.
Another thousand later in that, being a father, of three, and refusing to stop toward set aim. Just because you’re a parent, of however many kids, does NOT in ANY WAY mean you have to forfeit your drive. The projects you set as yours can only be diminished or forgotten if you allow.
You look at you baby, only 12 days old, and sharp realization decided. This is all you. He will look to you, just as your other wee people do. Sorry for the ramble, but Henry’s Lansing has me more reflective than the other two. Not sure why, but I see it being mostly my age.
Reminder… thousand on run, thousand on being a parent and not surrendering any aims, thousand on Henry.
Music stops again. He makes his sounds. I don’t need work, or anywhere else.